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Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Tired 。Selfish 。Pride

It has been a long time I have not involved much servings in church, and also not given many, it's all because I felt restless and a little selfish about my time. The main reason should be my selfishness... not much on the tiredness, not hard to find out, from my daily activities, I played hard, I ate hard, I 'flirted' hard, I hiked hard.... but not serving hard.

I complaint to my pastors ( I think more than three person) I was rather tiring on serving, God has given me too many talents and gifts, and so I found I was serving in many ministries and events, I know it sounded prideful, but I really was.

Thank God for His love, I am complete, healthy and normal, I shouldn't complaint for I can serve Him fully, indeed I should do my best, as I have taught the children in Kingdom Kidz Fun Hour to do their best.

I was struggle to go Haggai Institute Alumnus reunion this afternoon, as it stated in the invitation there will be a new season of committee election, after the long introduction as above.... you know what I meant for 'struggling'.




Good news to me, I am elected to be one of committees, at least better than to be a secretary, this really made me stumped, I am not this kind of 'paperwork people', I have never worked as one, I would rather jump through  hoops, climb mountains, down under the pan, walk on through the wind and rain but never asked me to do paperwork, never ever trusted me could carry this work well.

It is true, every serving is to equip oneself, a brother has shared an enlightening thought in the meeting, he wanted to serve in Haggai Institute, bring what he learns back to his belonging territory to carry forward.
Salute to his attitude.

"I know God won't give me anything I can't handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much." 

I could understand why people stopped serving and just attend church, because I have tasted its 'freedom'. (once awhile lah, erm only once in a long while, I didn't usually skip church lah!).

I could also understand why people get back to their serving, because I felt the guiltiness for not giving what God has given me. 

May be you would like to know why serving, indeed I chose to serve as I want to stand before God.

On the last day, Jesus will say to those on His right hand, "Come, enter the Kingdom. For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was sick and you visited me." Then Jesus will turn to those on His left hand and say, "Depart from me because I was hungry and you did not feed me, I was thirsty and you did not give me to drink, I was sick and you did not visit me." These will ask Him, "When did we see You hungry, or thirsty or sick and did not come to Your help?" And Jesus will answer them, "Whatever you neglected to do unto one of these least of these, you neglected to do unto Me!" 
Matthew 25: 35-40

Lord please be not forsaken me, use me for Your glory, and guide me in Your will, strengthen me according to Your word.

In Jesus' name I pray.

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