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Saturday, January 30, 2010

Cherry Tomato

A special way to appreciate tomato.
Many of us do not like to take tomato, I was one of you, it really took me a long time, I never liked tomato, not until recent years... because I want to teach Gabriel how to appreciate tomato, this mission has yet to accomplish though.... I will never give up, keep on trying and searching ways to learn to appreciate the special taste God has created tomato to be.

During last Christmas, Ng's family held a gathering in Jin Kiat's newly renovated house, and we had lots of food, one that impressed me was this one, sour plum staffed in cherry tomato, or cherry tomato staffed with sour plum, whatever, but it really make it easier to swallow those cherry tomatoes, I have to declare, I like tomatoes now, I don't have problem of eating them. But this combination really makes it easier to consume it if you do not like tomato taste that much. If you have the problem of taking tomato, try this recipe.
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Friday, January 29, 2010

Tips on cutting labels

1. Have your labels printed out

2. Using blade to 'cut' marking at both sides

It will be like this after the vertical cuts, it is not cutting through, left the border uncut.

3. then do the same to the horizontal cuts, put 'cut' mark at both sides.

5. Then the last step, remove the border, no hassle.

Hope the info and description somehow helps.

Jane Lee

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KRG Missionary Fund Raising - Cards and Bookmarks

Last Sunday was the first meet, together with Ashley the cards making lover, Joe Khong ID designer, Kit Khong graphic designer, Phoebe, Colin and Angela, Hui Theng and friends. Finally we have our first session which have been talking to Ashley since last year, because both of us love crafting. But by looking on the gadget she has got, wow, pro-card maker, who am I? I am just an amateur.

I was sorry that couldn't help much but taking photos, I was too busy running around that day, meeting at Dream Hub, some 'Alpha Team blogging' thingy discussion over another corner... so sorry to Ashley which really stressed her up in my absence.

For the first few hours, they have to cut out bookmarks in desired size, print out Bible verses that encourage, that bring hopes and love, have them cut. Then proceed on designs and patterns. Phoebe, Joe and Kit the siblings were doing good job on this, undeniably Ashley has done the great job on that as well as quality check.

Once design is out, Colin and Angela the couple will start the mass production, hope they enjoying the process being repeatedly stamping and pasting.

Good job for all of you.


Jane Lee

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Singapore New Sign Board

For those who do not understand Malay language, it says:
"Burning of CHURCHES is prohibited here!"
Just received this mail, don't know how true is this... or another photoshop photo.

Step Out Boldly

When you walk, your steps will not be hampered;
when you run, you will not stumble.
Proverbs 4:12

The Lord never builds a bridge of faith except under the feet of the faith-filled traveler. If He builds the bridge a rod ahead, it would not be a bridge of faith. That which is of sight is not of faith.

There is a self-opening gate which is sometimes used in country roads. It stands fast and firm across the road as a traveler approaches it. If he stops before he gets to it, it will not open. But if he will drive right at it, his wagon wheels press the springs below the roadway, and the gate swings back to let him through. He must push right on at the closed gate, or it will continue to be closed.

This illustrates the way to pass every barrier on the road of duty. Whether it is a river, a gate, or a mountain, all the child of Jesus has to do is to go for it. If it is a river, it will dry up when you put your feet in its waters. If it is a gate, it will fly open when you are near enough to it, and are still pushing on. If it is a mountain, it will be lifted up and cast into a sea when you come squarely up, without flinching, to where you thought it was.
Is there a great barrier across your path of duty just now? Just go for it, in the name of the Lord, and it won't be there. --Henry Clay Trumbull

We sit and weep in vain. The voice of the Almighty said, "Up and onward forevermore." Let us move on and step out boldly, though it be into the night, and we can scarcely see the way. The path will open, as we progress, like the trail through the forest, or the Alpine pass, which discloses but a few rods of its length from any single point of view. Press on! If necessary, we will find even the pillar of cloud and fire to mark our journey through the wilderness. There are guides and wayside inns along the road. We will find food, clothes and friends at every stage of the journey, and as Rutherford so quaintly says: "However matters go, the worst will be a tired traveler and a joyful and sweet welcome home."

I'm going by the upper road, for that still holds the sun, I'm climbing through night's pastures where the starry rivers run:

If you should think to seek me in my old dark abode, You'll find this writing on the door, "He's on the Upper Road." --Selected

Jane's note

Oh, how sweet is the Lord, receiving this mail forwarded by an old friend, this is helpful to me. The voice of the Almighty said, "Up and onward forevermore." Off I will onwards go, march into the promised land after a journey in wilderness.

Jane Lee

Sooner or later

What Almost Every Woman Knows Sooner Or Later

Husbands are things that wives have to get used to putting up with, and with whom they breakfast with and sup with. They interfere with the discipline of nurseries, and forget anniversaries. And when they have been particularly remiss, they think they can cure everything with a great big kiss. And when you tell them about something awful they have done they just look unbearably patient and smile a superior smile, and think, Oh she'll get over it after a while.

And they always drink cocktails faster than they can assimilate them, and if you look in their direction they act as if they were martyrs and you were trying to sacrifice, or immolate them. And when it's a question of walking five miles to play golf they are very energetic but if it's doing anything useful around the house they are very lethargic.

And then they tell you that women are unreasonable and don't know anything about logic. And they never want to get up or go to bed at the same time as you do. And when you perform some simple common or garden rite like putting cold cream on your face or applying a touch of lipstick they seem to think that you are up to some kind of black magic like a priestess of Voodoo.

And they are brave and calm and cool and collected about the ailments of the person they have promised to honor and cherish. But the minute they get a sniffle or a stomachache of their own,
why you'd think they were about to perish. And when you are alone with them they ignore all the minor courtesies and as for airs and graces, they utterly lack them. But when there are a lot of people around they hand you so many chairs and ashtrays and sandwiches and butter you with such bowings and scrapings that you want to smack them.

Husbands are indeed an irritating form of life. And yet through some quirk of Providence most of them are really very deeply ensconced in the affection of their wife.

Ogden Nash

Jane's Note

A very detailed explanation of a husband.

Don't ever think that 'her husband' is better than mine, women ... they are all the same when they are at home.
But the last sentence do encourage wives, they deeply ensconced in their wives. Cheer up!

Friday, January 22, 2010





爱, 这一课, 始终是最难,最复杂。


把 爱 看成一种艺术,有时候你会明白为什么,有时候你不懂。。。 享受它带来的奇妙,它带来的惊喜。

爱, 没有说对或错,只有认真。

别让怨恨 丑陋了女人的爱情。

我知道放下是一件不容易的事,我清楚, 也了解,

但别让恨 丑陋了女人的爱。

我如何看伤害? 爱可以使女人更美丽, 伤害亦然。 爱 让女人从外面看起来漂亮,耀眼光芒; 伤害却能让女人从里面散发出一种特别温婉优雅的气质。 看,伤害未必不是一件好事!

别让伤害 丑陋了女人的心。

爱情 好比一朵玫瑰花,开了。。。谢了。。。春去春来,来也挡不住,去也留不了, 所以要学会珍惜有的那一刻。

Wednesday, January 20, 2010


Complication in feelings
You will never walked out of lies
because feeling is deceitful;

Complication in thoughts
You will never found the answer
because you are lost;

Complication in living
You will never saw the truth
because you are blinded;

Complication in decision making
You will never had the courage
because you have fear;

Complication never comes with joy and peace

Complication never comes with blessings

Complication never made love working,

but love is always an unexpected complication

Jane Lee

Monday, January 18, 2010

What shall I do?

Bible is the love letters from God, a book of love, book of law, book of guidance, book of an abundance life, book of wisdom. A book that could help me set a standard in my life, a book that could guide me along the living path.

A book of love, God's promises and teaching. A book of law, God's protection and mercy. What shall I do? Shall I put His word into my daily practice or shall I use His word to judge others' wrong doing?

Shall I set a standard for others, or shall I just set for my own? Shall I condemn or shall I tolerate? Shall I compare or shall I help? Shall I see the plank in my own eye before I see the speck of sawdust in my brother's eye ( Matthew 7:3)?

What shall I do?

~ 爱情的最高境界~

~ 爱情的最高境界~

有一天,女人问男人: “你说,爱的最高境界是什么?”

女人点了点头,又摇了摇头。。。 “那你说是什么?”男人问, 女人笑说:“是习惯,当你习惯了一个人生活中的习惯, 你就真的爱上他了”。

一个女人习惯了一个男人的鼾声, 从不适应到习惯,再到没有他的鼾声就睡不着觉,这就是爱;
一个男人习惯了一个女人的任性, 撒娇,甚至无理取闹,无事生非,一个人会为去迁就另一个人,甚至为对方去改变自己,这就是爱。

如果你始终不能适应另一个人的所有习惯,那说明了你并不爱他,或者说你还未到最高境界, 当你已经习惯你喜欢那个人的所有习惯,例如他衣服的烟草味,他干净的衬衣, 他半夜起身看足球的习惯。。。那么请你不要再问:“爱是什么这样?” 这个愚蠢的问题了。



有时候就是这么简单, 朴素, 它像一杯在我们身边的白开水伸手可及,



Jane's note:

无论如何,有一小段我不太认同。。。 就是:当一个男人习惯了一个女人的任性, 撒娇,甚至无理取闹,无事生非,一个人会为去迁就另一个人,甚至为对方去改变自己,这不是爱, 而是宠坏。我不太认同这样爱的方式,会使一个人陷入凡是以自我中心而论,这样太不像话了!



歌林多前书 13章:4-8节

A special statement from my beloved pastor

Yesterday Sunday was a special Sunday to most of KRG (Kingdom Rock Generation) and SCF members, it was the first time KRG took over the whole sermon from praise and worship to sharing, KRG rocked all the way down.

And the chair-dance was the best time we've ever did, well... at least Pastor Jazz did not make mistake on 'purpose'. *grin grin.

Another touching moment was from Pastor Ban Chuan, his confession was really a surprise to me, for his frankness and pour out, I did have the same thought over his mandate, he was rather tension, stress and high expectation every time in the service, I also understand his passion towards us and new souls, thankful for his compassion, because of these complicated emotional, he could'nt enjoy most of praise and worship, but this time he claimed to God, he wanted to have a session which he could enjoy His presence. Glad that he really had one! Keep it up Pastor Ban Chuan, in Christ, no competition, no comparison, no separation, no condemnation, only God is perfect, only Him alone will make no mistake, we are perfect in His eyes when we give our best!

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Lata Hammer is extremely dangerous

I read many posting regarding the latest tragedy after my close friend brought up this incident, it happened at The Lata Hammer waterfall - Bentong, Siti Mazidah Zulkifli, 24 drowned, a friend of my facebook friend. And this time is his 3rd friend died at the same spot according to the news, I felt sad to hear about this accident and condolences to the family and my friend.

However here is some advises and tips from Waterfall Survivor Committees posted in facebook.

And as I read more of the info from friend's status and comments, sadly found out indeed this group of friend suppposingly to join Waterfall Suvivor's event, they went to Lata Hammer because that event from Waterfall Suvivor have 'SHOWN' full in the event page, due to some irresponsible 'goer' and eventually not turning up. Please, friends, don't abuse the use of a 'click'. Be responsible to ourselves, so as others.

It is nothing to blame, but something to learn. Press on!

"Joel, be strong and courageous, God is with you, self-condemnation is not from God, living a life in His truth, press on!"

Waterfalls are beautiful, and they remain beautiful despite of never ending accidents, and nothing could stop us from drawing near to nature, just have to learn the 'language of nature', and don't try to challenge our limited ability, and understand that mother nature is powerful. Nothing we can do to make a change in her rage.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Video Cam is fun

I start using web cam since last year school holiday, when two of Singapore nieces came over to stay with me for two weeks, we (me and my sister) started to fix a web cam, by allowing her two girls see their parents, the first time Shania (8 years old) cried when she talked to her father and mother, she missed them very much. Sonia (6 years old) was happy with it, my sis tested them on Bible memory verses, went so far away... still can't 'run-away' from her 'five-fingers'.... sigh!

Therefore now and then me and my sister will have long hour video chat, that was so fun.... why didn't we thought of this last time? Her company limits the workers making calls last year, we talked lesser, and most of the time she had to call by her handphone, but now, we can chat, and see each other. Rather late... but better than never knew about it.


靖雄三年级是早上班, 为了要为他准备早餐及带去学校的小吃, 我得早上六时正起床. 通常会先打开所有窗口 (晚上时分都会关上,避免蜥蜴(Lizard) 及 蟑螂 从窗口爬进来), 煮开水,洗衣物,弄早餐。。。

本以为会觉得好‘可怜’, 经过一星期的时间后,已经开始喜欢上这个生活模式。


今天的心情不由自主的开心起来... 我的学生真好,知道我不会打开由他邮寄的文件, 他另外替我打开再又转送给我, 太感动了。

这位学生是我的挚爱, 打从五岁我就教他钢琴, 他很有纪律, 从来我都不需苦恼, 也从来没有生气过, 有他的课时,我特别喜欢那一天... 哈哈. 他今年已经十八岁了, 在两个月里就会去新加坡深造,他获得了奖学金.

   讲起这位学生,我非常喜爱他父母的教导方式。这是双薪家庭,都是专业人士,生活很富裕,他们从小就有菲佣在旁服侍,当他们到三年级的时候,父母就不再给 他们唤使女佣,他们必须要自己做自己的份内事,比如用餐后清洗自己的餐具,收拾自己的房间与整理睡床,不可唤使佣人替他们办理家务,即便是开一个门,他们 会亲自开门给老师, 在这些多年里,我不曾听见他们呼叫佣人; 他们不会炫耀,他们很有纪律,又有礼貌,品格又好,爱死他们了。。。 


到过我家来的小朋友,他们都喜欢我家,因为许多东西我都会让小孩可以亲自做得到,比如说倒一杯水,我家厨房有一张小凳子,他们可以自由上下拿到杯子,我也 会把水壶置放在比较低矮的架子上,Gabriel - 靖雄,也许他的格子比较高,从三岁起,他就为自己倒水。我记得有几次,小朋友在我家倒了好几次的水,好像我家的水特别甜似的, 他们的母亲还真不相信他们是如此喜欢‘喝水’。

大概在他六岁时候,我就开始把他自己个儿留在家, 那个时候大概是一堂课的时间 (一个小时), 直到今天,他已经是九岁了,我都会很放心留他在家, 只须留下一些小叮咛,叮嘱他一些要注意的事项就可以了。我的母亲对这样的做法很不赞同,我也曾经被她训话一顿,但我还是坚持我的教养方式。

就在上个星期天的主日过后,跟一位已经是4个孩子的 May Lee 谈天,才发觉她也是这样陶教大儿子的。终于找到相同教养孩子的母亲了, 其实我的亲姐姐也是这样的理念,我们都不宠坏孩子,并相当看重他们求生技能的训练。


Monday, January 11, 2010


不好了!今天本来要下载 ‘周杰倫-說好的幸福呢‘ 的钢琴谱,后来发觉 谷歌因为虫虫钢琴谱 官方网站 被袭击,所以已经被其封锁 。。。 那。。。 我们这些音乐爱好者从今以后还能在那里下载 我们想要的歌谱呢?
虫虫网站 是我最喜爱的网站,通常都能找到世界名曲, 尽管是 巴洛克 名曲 直至 二十一 世纪的 歌谱 都 应有尽有, 回想起那时候当我发现这个网站的心情, 好不兴奋,不断的寻找一直以来想要弹奏的歌曲,也打印了许多歌谱,如今却。。。 咳!

心情有点低落。。。 很想要学新歌, 又找不到能下载的网站。。。 怎么办呢?

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Not the same me

Thought life is just that simple
single has it's way to stay
thing has changed from blue to purple
kindness, friendship have gone to a slay

thoughts, mind and mood affected by the screwed
how can life be so cruel

Girl is not the little girl anymore
Strength is what she needs
off she leaps from the darkly door
thorns and scorns will make her bleeds

faith, hope and peace vacillated by troubles
how my life be unchanged

I am not the same me

not the same me

Friday, January 8, 2010

Shockening or expected!!?!

A Catholic church next to the Assunta Hospital here came under attack early this morning, just hours after another church in nearby Kuala Lumpur was torched.

What is the matter with just a word to call the most holy and almighty God? Why? ? ? what is the teaching in your believe?

And those attacks are expected!! ??
The police have tightened their nightly patrols around churches in the past week following the High Court ruling on Dec 31, and there will be more demonstration after today's prayers, oh my goodness... I am not good of expressing this kind of issue, but I feel sad and pain in my heart, and some anger rise ...

And I am reading a Chinese blog recently, regarding some analysis of political issue, you may just go here.

At this moment.... I can only say :"Let them reap what they sow."

Wednesday, January 6, 2010











上依赖他人的坏习惯--上课不听书 又有什么关系呢,



全然没有自由活动的空间,日日如此,月月如 是,









踏脚车,都可以。 测验来时,他们必须自我督导,自行温习。







本文在2009-12-30 4:13:40被依林编辑过

Jane's note:

I'm in total agreement with her. I don't do homework with Gabriel,
he started to do it on his own since standard one, whenever he
made mistakes, he has to do corrections, we will understand how
much he understands by this way, I don't quite keen on his perfect
homework, high scored tests... He does his s exam revision, and I
am just to give him some tutorial guide when he asks me, then I will
know how much he understands ... I just don't like the stress...
stress to control him on homework, stress on checking his school
works, stress on his result, stress on whether he has everything
in his bag for the day's schedule.... NO NO NO, I don't want to do
it for him, I want him to be able to take up his responsibility to do
what he supposes to do, he gets his punishment and lesson whenever
he fails to do it. Let them learn it, or they will be forever 'need help'.

When a Man Loves a Woman Part 2

When a Man Loves a Woman

The Husband As Lover

Husbands, we are challenged to love our wives with the greatest love that has ever been shown - the love of Christ for his church. More than anything else we do for our wives, we are to love them. We must love them with all of our being, all of our heart and all of our passion. The only love that is to surpass our love for our wives is our love for God himself. In this definitive passage for husbands, Paul describes several specific ways we are to love:

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or nay other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church - for we are members of his body. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." This is a profound mystery - but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband (Ephesians 5:25-33).

1) An Unselfish Love

So great was his love for his church that Jesus "gave himself up for her" (Ephesians 5:25). He loved the church enough to die for her. He willingly endured privation, abuse, ridicule, suffering, pain and torture for his bride, the church. He gave up his own will that she might be saved. Throughout his life he willingly laid himself aside that he might serve her and save her. Any leadership he exercised was not for the purpose of glorying in his power or in gaining personal benefit; his leadership was for the blessing and benefit of his bride. Aside from sinning against God himself, there was nothing Jesus would not do to demonstrate and prove his love and win the heart of his bride.

As husbands, we must sacrifice ourselves for our wives in a number of specific ways. We must give up our time. A man must be willing to give up what he would like to do to meet his wife's needs and spend time with her. If we are unwilling to do this, how can we say, and how can they feel, that we deeply love them? We must give of our energy. It takes expenditure of vast quantities of physical and emotional strength to love. Jesus gave unstintingly of himself. He was so weary that he could sleep his way through a life threatening storm (Mark 4:35-39) and so exhausted that he finally collapsed beneath the weight of his cross - but still he loved. As disciples of Jesus we have a number of needs crying out for our attention. We can feel pulled in a lot of directions. There are children to love and Christians to serve. Then there are the poor and the lost, but our wives must not get the leftovers. God will bless you when you put your wife's needs above all others, giving you strength to help her and others. How much pure effort are you expend and desires. Jesus did not come to be served but to serve and to give his life (Matthew 20:25-28). A man who has to have everything his way is not loving his wife.

2) A Sensitive Love

Paul wrote that "husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies" (Ephesians 5:28). This passage describes a special kind of love husbands should have - a sensitive love. Wives must be loved with a profound degree of feeling. Since we are one flesh (Ephesians 5:31) we must treat our wives as if they were part of our own bodies.

Men are notoriously insensitive. why else are we told firmly and repeatedly to be sensitive unless it does not come easy for us? If there is any time when I see the pain of wives sidered by their husbands. The hurt can be etched deeply in a woman's eyes, or it may come out as a hard edge of cynicism and bitter wit, but it is unmistakable and widespread. I hurt for woman live with unfeeling, insensitive husbands. The woman who is married to a kind, gentle and loving husband shows it. Jesus' goal is for his church to be "radiant" (Ephesians 5:27). The original language carries the idea that she is meant to be "glorious." If Jesus' goal for his bride is that she be radiant and glorious, then our goal for our wives should be the same. A wife should have a sparkle in her eyes, a confidence to her bearing and a joyfulness in her smile. Radiance and joy need to flow out of her and be instinctive, unstudied and unbridled. She will be confident, yet without arrogance or conceit, because she is deeply secure in her husband's nurturing love,

Husbands should be sensitive to the emotional needs of their wives. Is she discouraged? Is she lonely? Is she frustrated? As a husband, you should be aware of nay feelings of this nature. You should not be slow to realize these situations - you ought to know your wife so well and care for her so much that you can pick up on her needs immediately and instinctively, without always having to be told.

We should be sensitive to our wives' physical needs. Is she tired? Weary? Sick? Does she have any physical discomfort at all? Peter says that women are the "weaker partner" (1 Peter 3:7). This is a simple reference to the fact that normally women are not as physically strong as men. This has nothing to do with superiority, but with simple biological fact. Men are often unsympathetic to the fact that normally women are not as physically strong as men.Men are often unsympathetic to their wives' lesser physical stamina and strength. If she is weary and tired, we should step in and help her get some rest. If she is ill, we ought to help her get well.

We must also be sensitive to our wives' social needs. Women often feel stifled socially because they feel as if their entire lives revolve around their husbands and children. In one sense, this is true for both wives and for husbands - the most significant relationships in terms of time and emotional investment are those of our own household. But we can not limit ourselves, or our wives, to these few social contacts. As wonderful as you are, husband, you are not enough. And as cute and special as our kids are, they are not enough, either. Women need contact with other adult friends outside the family circle. We need to have relationships with other couples with whom we can go out and have fun.

We must be sensitive to our wives' spiritual needs. A woman's relationship with God and her spiritual life must be encouraged by you, as her husband, more than by anyone else. You should pray with her and discuss spiritual subjects with her. You should encourage and lead her to put God first and to grow spiritually. You should encourage her to spend daily time in prayer and study of the Bible .

3) An Exclusive Love

"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh" (Ephesians 5:31). Our love for our wives is to be our greatest human love. Our wives must occupy first place in our hearts. Only God himself is to have a greater devotion. Only with our wives are we "one flesh." We are one person. There is no other relationship like it, and therefore no great human love. Our loyalty and love for our wives must be greater than our loyalty to our parents. We are to leave them and build a life with our wives.

Certainly, another woman should never have any place in our hearts or our interest. A man with any tendency in this direction must deal with it decisively by getting open with God and another make friend who holds to God's standard. Our wives should know beyond any shadow of a doubt where they stand with us. A wife should be totally confident that she is number one and no one else is even close! When she knows this, you will have the foundation upon which you can build a great marriage.

4) An Initiating Love

Our love for Jesus is a "because" love: "We love because he first loved us" (2 John 4:19, emphasis added). Our relationship with Jesus began by his loving us first and is sustained by his continuing to love us. He is the initiator, we are responders.

During courtship, men are usually the initiators. Even if the woman is the first to be interested, somewhere along the way the man has to start taking the lead. Once we are married, this pattern must continue, or the marriage will suffer. The wife will especially suffer. She will continually bear the uncertainty of wondering how her husband feels about her and will be insecure. Being in the role of follower, she wants to be loved and protected. If this reassurance is not there, she will feel inadequate and unworthy. Or, she may begin to look for love from some source other than her husband: her children, her parents, her job, her friends or another man.

Men, we should be the initiators of love. Years into our marriages, we should still be the aggressive givers of love and assurance to our wives. We must never back away from showing our love in words and deed. We should be a fountainhead of love for our wives. Many times I have heard men say that their wives and children do not love and appreciate them. My answer to this complaint is this: If you pour out love in generous measure, you will be loved in return. Your wife will be utterly devoted to you, because you love her as no one else does. And the same will be true of your children.

Take the initiative. Show her you love her. Show extraordinary courtesy and consideration. Say the words of love. In this way you imitate Jesus, who initiates love to his church and continues to win her heart by his continued love, attention and sustenance.

5) A Love Without Bitterness

"Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them" ( Colossians 3:19). The word translated "harsh" in the above verse has as its base meaning "to make bitter." It is the same root word used in Hebrews 12:14 to refer to the "bitter root." A good translation could also be, "Husbands, love your wives and do not be embittered against them." The verse is and admonition to husbands to not be embittered against or frustrated with their wives _ to not be critical, nagging, angry men.

Husbands, ask yourselves, Am I bitter toward my wife? Do I have a critical attitude? Do I make her feel she can never do anything right? If you are bitter against her, she may feel the same way about you, so ask yourself another question? Is my wife radiantly happy, or is she bitter? If she is bitter, then take a look in the mirror, and ask yourself if it is your fault.
She is in the role of follower. If you, as her leader, do not treat her with love, you may drive her to bitterness. Some of us who have been so free to blame our wives' bitterness on their lack of spirituality and ingratitude need to take responsibility for our part in their problem. A husband can go a long way toward making his wife's life a joyful and more spiritual one by his tender concern.

6) A Considerate Love

Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with
your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker
partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so
that nothing will hinder your prayers (1 Peter 3:7).

Peter tells us we should be considerate of our wives. The literal translation of this phrase is "live together with understanding." To love our wives is to be understanding of their nature. We should treat them like women, not like men. We should treat them as our wives and not as employees or as our personal servants.

Second, Peter says we should treat our wives with respect. A more literal translation is "showing honor." This means that in private and in public, we should treat our wives with utmost respect. In private we should praise our wives for their great qualities and tell them continually how much we admire and appreciate them. We should hold up our wives before our children and families as women we revere and appreciate. In the presence of our friends, business associates and neighbors we should lift up our wives with praise and appreciation. We should do this when they are present and when they are absent. This kind of treatment causes a woman to blossom with high self-esteem. She also falls more deeply in love with her husband with every compliment he gives.

Third, Peter notes in this passage that our wives are joint heirs with us of the gracious gift of life. As men, we are the leaders, but we must remember that before God, our wives are our equals. We are not superior. Sometimes, we feel because we are in the role of leadership it means we are better than our wives. Nothing could be further from the truth. It has been my privilege to serve as a leader in God's church for many years, and I can say that there are many people that I lead who are far more talented than I. Many of them have qualities of character that are superior to mine. I am their leader because I have the ability and talent to do it, not because I am innately superior. If I begin to feel that I am better than they are, I will become an arrogant, oppressive leader. Anyone, especially a wife, who is led by someone like this can lose hearts, become discouraged and lose faith and confidence.

Fourth, Peter gives us a solemn warning in this passage. He says that if we do not treat our wives respectfully, God will not hear our prayers. God views disrespect for a wife as disrespect for him. God opposes oppressive, dictatorial leaders. He will ultimately judge them. This somber warning serves notice that God holds us who are husbands accountable for our treatment of our wives. We must strive with all of our hearts to love our wives in the way that Christ has loved his church.

Friends & Lovers chapter 3 When a Man Loves a Woman

When a Man Loves a Woman Part 1

When a Man Loves a Woman

For the husband is the head of the
wife as Christ is the head of the
church....Husbands, love your wives,
just as Christ loved the church...
Ephesians 5:23, 25

So how does a man go about being a husband? Is there a manual he can turn to and look up exactly what he needs to know in any situation? Is there a list of rules he can follow that will make him the husband he should be?

The Bible's emphasis is not on rules but on a role model. It does not provide something to do, but rather someone to imitate. There is a marriage relationship in which the husband is the perfect example. A man can look at this husband and be completely confident in imitating his life and example. Who is this husband? Jesus. Who is his wife? The church.

The relationship between Jesus and the church is the pattern that God wants men to follow in building a marriage. God does not lay out many specific rules - "if this happens, do this" kinds of statements. Marriage is simply too large and dynamic an enterprise to be reduced to a set of rules. Instead, men are shown an attitude to possess and a model to imitate. And Jesus possesses that attitude and is that model.

God gives husbands this challenge: Be like Jesus in the way you treat your wife. In any situation that arises in his marriage, the husband is to ask himself, "What would Jesus do?" Jesus' relationship to the church can be summed up in two great concepts: He leads her, and he loves her.

The Husband As Leader

There is a great deal of confusion today about the concept of the husband's leadership in marriage. It is critical that we address it. I urge you to open your mind and your eyes to what God has to say about this crucial and difficult subject.

The Bible teaches that "the husband is the head of the wife" (Ephesians 5:23). As such, he has the role of leader in the marriage relationship. That men are to lead is not merely social convention - it is intrinsic to the very nature of creation:
Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God (1 Corinthians 11:3).
This principle is made even more clear by the charge given to wives to "submit to your husbands as to the Lord" (Ehpesians 5:22). God has ordered and arranged marriage so that men are to be the leaders of their wives. This is the clear and unmistakable teaching of the Bible.

You, as the husband, are in charge. It is neither arrogant nor presumptuous of you to lead. It is wrong for you not to lead. Marriage is a partnership, to be sure, but the husband is the senior partner, put in that position by God. The husband must be a leader who will listen, weigh and consider but who he has the charge, challenge and accountability for the final decision. There is a time for the husband to give up his rights and wishes and submit to his wife, but he must never do so out of weakness, nor must he surrender his position as leader.

When circumstances are challenging, God does not throw out the plan; he makes a better man! God is not so much concerned with the position of leadership as with the heart of the leader. He gives the position, and then teaches us how to go about filling it. The right model and the right motive will produce the right method. The model is Jesus. His motive is love.

Friends & Lovers chapter 3 When a Man Loves a Woman

Fear not

'Day!! what have I done? made the wrong move, what can I do? what is the next step? Where shall I go? How shall I stop? Is God here with me? Can God hear my call? .... Have I walked too far? m... feeling lonely...

Attended Tuesday's summit meeting, it is once a month meeting... Pastor BC called for a group prayer instead of teaching... he had us gathered in a circle then we started praying...

I asked God many questions, some were those listed above. I've got my answer ... after that. Draw near to Him, He will lead me and He is with me, and in me, do not be dismayed, be courageous.

Then I had this quote from Pastor Jazz:

The word 'do not fear' appeared 365 times in the OT and NT. One for each day is enugh.

That was when I tell her about my doubt and insecurity, she is always positive and encouraging, and most of all practical! She has so much more I want to learn from, thankfully she is holding a women seminar in SCF, waiting for her powerful sharing.

Oooh, I want to shout out loud...... "JANE, you are strong because you have God in you! FEAR NOT"

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