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Tuesday, June 29, 2010

我泄气了... 你还在吗?

其实我车的轮胎在还没发生意外之前就被‘钉’破了,有两个月之久吧,不很明显的漏气,大概一星期只须充气一次,我也不理会它。这几天蛮严重的,隔天充一次,  别说轮胎, 我也'漏气', 昨天才甘愿把它补去。


人的心情还真能用轮胎来做比喻, 心情高扬时就像充满气的轮胎, 一直打滚, 即使路上扑满了大小不一的石子, 也会连弹带滚的往前冲去,没什么事情难得倒,走在街上看着大太阳把地面上晒得热烘烘,水里沸腾腾,路人冒着汗没劲地走着,唯你高喊天气真晴朗!遇见的每个人也会感受到你的欢乐,脸上发出亮光。

可是什么时候我变了又软又扁了呢?没想到一天一股的气从那不起眼的小破口不经意地泄出去到了不能自救的地步。。。自救? 怎么了?当初是我不理会这个小洞的,咎由自取又怎么能自救呢? 。。。。是谁要我自救的呢?我难道已经忘记了还有一位 好朋友?可是那时候 祂有劝我去补洞的我却没理会 ,如今又怎么好意识去请求 呢?也许 不在了!

。。。

我开始想起 ,还清楚记得 ,曾不惜一切保护我,我孤单时 陪我,。。。知道我的软弱,我的缺点, 我意志不坚定,丢了永恒的要了短暂的, 叫我向左走我偏要向右走,有时候不想见 , 把给关在门外,可是 祂依然耐心地,静静地等待我回应 的爱。 我泄气了,连开门的力气也没了,‘好朋友’ 你还在吗?

。。。

用轻柔的声音对我说:
“是,我知道你什么时候坐下,什么时候站起来,

我并不是轻易生气发怒的,因我就是爱,

而且爱你是我的意愿,

没有任何东西可以再次把你和我分开。”


我又哭了。。。

这一次是喜乐的。

Jane Lee

Monday, June 28, 2010

陌生人的微笑

这几天心情很闷很闷很闷。。。还可以写多少次?还是闷。


忽然间 穎穎这位面子书的朋友的照片闪了出来,
我不认识她,也没真正在面子书里交谈过。
可是,
她的微笑给了我温暖,
在她的文字行里,
不难感受她的温柔,
她那诚恳的言语中,
流露了爱与安慰,
这是我今天忽然有的感触。


谢谢你!

Thursday, June 17, 2010

单身旅行の难怪他们担心

小时候经常会梦见自己飞翔,而且是高空飞翔,我超爱站在高处凝望天际, 听说过如果晚上睡觉时梦见自己会飞就是意味着心里向往自由,的确我向往自由; 如今年纪也不小了,快要步入四十大关,因为许多的忧虑与胆怯, 每次想飞都飞不远。读过几篇部落客单身自助旅行的自在与趣事,真叫我心动!那双长久绑住的翅膀松脱了腾腾地拍打着准备试飞,忽然间克制不了内心的兴奋;

好不容易决定要来个单身旅行,那边厢就传来不停的反对声,我也知道都是来自大家的关心与忧虑,我想。。。人生能够只有这么一次的四十而且身体健康,还要等什么?大家所担心的我也担心过,大家想到的危险我也有想过,为了要让大家放下心,我会搜集所有资料,安排妥当。

说得也难怪他们担心,我这个人糊里糊涂,懵懵懂懂的,除了去年带着Gabriel背包旅行槟城岛是第一次自己包办一切的安排手续及购买机票外,以前所有的旅行或外游从来不轮到我来打理,再说我是在温室里长大的小‘老姑娘’,虽然偶尔会耍一两招男子气概,但又不够豪壮,声量虽大可吵起架来连泪带鼻涕酱喷出了半天还真听不懂我喊了些什么东西,所以说。。。难怪他们担心。


Monday, June 14, 2010

The smell we miss



Mid year school term break has just over, resume to a normal routine life, wake up at 6am, prepare breakfast, wake Gab up, fetch him to school.... the thing that I was once thought of it is a torturing to me... and indeed not as bad as I have ever thought, so far doing well for the past half year.

On the very first day after two weeks of break, both of us felt that we actually miss the smell of half boiled eggs, for no reason it smells extraordinary delicious, this made me wanted to jot it down, 'The smell we miss'.


Wednesday, June 2, 2010

A day in UH emergency room

At about 4:45am got a call from sister-in-law that my dad is vomited blood, the first thing I did was knelt down on my knee and ask God for protection, this is my first instinct whenever I have something that is beyond my control, and also confess my sin for anything that I have not done good enough to love my dad ( :p). I got washed up and had myself changed, rush to my brother's house. Indeed they were trying to get me as earlier as 4:30am, somehow my handphone is having problem of shutting off by itself recently, hmmph, quite a many things need to be fixed since last month, well it is ok, they will be fixed sooner and later, not that big deal to me.

Dad was not able to walk due to his giddiness after the vomit. I got to find out more after in emergency ward, he fell down from bed when he realized that he wanted to vomit, he was not given enough time to gain his strength after a short woke up from bed, he is injured with an open wound at the back of his head, he crawled to toilet and vomited, and then he called for help, that is what happened in this very morning.

Ambulance arrived as soon as I reached there, I hurry ran up to his room and saw his condition was quite bad, 2 ladies doctors and 2 men, one of them is a driver, emergency at first is not what we've seen from ER series.... first reaction was 'Aiyoh, susah lah!', 'Hey, tidak boleh mengatakan ini!' (A big sigh in my heart! I tried to be considerate perhaps.... fine.) And I followed my dad on ambulance ride, helping them to open some packaging and handling some minor things which they had problems in the bumpy ride and especially on gloves. (why has it be so bumpy?)

Soon enough we arrived to UH Emergency Department, many injections done, (The word 'emergency' doesn't really fit in their way of handling, I tried to be considerate though...... perhaps..... fine.) after about 3 hours of monitoring, he was cleaned up and push for a scan and endoscopy, and there we waited it was about 8am, no worker told us where to wait, where my dad will be going till we asked a worker that he will be warded to where and where, we waited till 11am.

Dad looked fine when we found him resting in his ward-bed, and we checked that there were some blood stained in his pillow, his wound is not treated, till I talked to a nurse about this, and guess what I got? 'Apa you nak?' I thought they suppose to know what to do then I tell her what we want her to do, that was rude, of course I talked to her nicely what I want afterall she is going to take care of him for days, I don't want my dad to suffer more. She just got me a few wet cottons and passed to me, I was like '????? thanks!', I washed it, but too scare to see the long cut scar, I asked another nurse to check for him, and she got a few medication and bandage to cover the wound. Thank goodness, finally got this done for dad. So heartache.

The report shows that he has ulcer in ??? not sure where, didn't got the right position from my brother yet, he was too tiring, he was there the whole day till evening, I just knocked and say understand.... he was way too tiring, actually we do, my mom too...

In Him we trust, continue to pray for healing and protection.






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