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Thursday, December 31, 2009

Soya Jelly

The original recipe for soya jelly is given by Swearly, you may try your own measurement, but if you sick of trying and trying, I encourage you to follow her instruction, and measurement, for the best taste, get those ingredient as she recommended, because she really have given many trying on different measurements, brands and products, enjoy the making.


2 ltr Water
1 litre V-Soy Soya Bean Milk
1 Packet Pearl Mermaid Agar-agar (jelly) powder 25g in a sachet
1 litre Marigold full cream milk
1 1/2 cups of sugar
12 pcs Pandan leaves
2 cans of Hosen Longan in Syrup


1) Add 2 ltr of water, together with sugar and pandan leaves, boil until the sugar melt totally.

2) Pour in Marigold full cream milk and V-soy soya bean milk.

3) Dissolve Pearl Mermaid Agar-agar (jelly) powder with cold (50ml) water before added in to soya bean mixture, then continue to stir until it is boiled. Turn off the fire, leave it for cooling, take out the surface layer of thin layer of soya skin (you may want to eat it, because it tastes nice!)

4) Fill in the cups ( makes about 27 - 30 small cups ) and leave them for hardening.

5) Scoop in two Longan to each cup after the jelly is formed.

I was foolish

Recent lesson requires a God fearing heart, how foolish am I if I let Him down, I am so fierce, so fierce to block God's advice, so 'strong', so 'strong' to push God away, at once I can see how ugly I was, how lonely, how restless, how vulnerable... without Him.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Beauty Tips

Beauty tips

by poh fang chia

Posted under God's empowerment, christian living, daily devotional, decisions/choices, humility, self-image

Proverbs 31:10-31
Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised. (v.30).

Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise (Philippians 4:8).

How could you clothe yourself with a gentle and quiet spirit today? What does it take to reflect God’s beauty?

Not long ago, we had a discussion in our office regarding what you should eat based on your blood type. Suddenly, our lunchtime conversations were seasoned with questions like: “If I’m B positive, should I eat chicken or fish?” The health “gurus” who are promoting eating based on blood type claim it can keep you fit and make you look good too.
We all desire to look good and are drawn to beauty. Proverbs 31 offers some excellent beauty tips that we—male and female—all need to read. The verses summarize much of the wisdom found in the entire book of Proverbs. They present the true beauty of a wise woman who fears the Lord.

Here are 5 of her characteristics:

  • Trustworthy (vv.11-12). She can be trusted to do good and to not harm others.

  • Shrewd or wise (vv.13-18). She thinks through her projects and manages her time and resources wisely. This leads her to successfully complete them.

  • Generous (vv.19-20). She gives to the poor and needy—not apathetic.

  • Diligent (vv.21-25). She makes sure that all the bases are covered for her family. A smile is on her face and joy is in her heart because she has done her best to provide.

  • Speaks wisely and kindly (v.26). She talks the talk and walks the walk!

By looking at this woman’s characteristics, we see that a person’s true beauty springs from the soul. Her kindness, loving care, and passion all flow from her relationship with God (v.30). Let’s follow her example and clothe ourselves with “the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God” (1 Peter 3:4).

Jane's note:

By reading it, this woman is so beautiful, I have more to learn and more to keep up, the one thing I need to do is to fear the Lord, this alone have much things to do, more lessons to pass....

Saturday, December 26, 2009


The Gift Of The Solution
by Michael Charles Messineo
Thursday, May 17, 2007

You need to look inside for answers and trust what you find.

The wall of separation,
dividing right from wrong,
sometimes hides the moral path,
whose list of things is long.
The goals of desperation,
that push us to extremes,
sometimes runs from friendship,
confused not what it seems.
The list of admiration,
that ones that we compare,
pushes the false values,
away from truth or dare.
The gift of the solution,
the one we seek to win,
starts with our own thinking,
the answer deep within.

Jane's note:

Solution has always in our hearts, there is - when we wanted to, there isn't - when we run away from, a word could tell ... Willing

Friday, December 25, 2009

Christmas Eve

We had a simple BBQ dinner at Joe's house this Christmas Eve, Hansen brought a special made wok from Singapore, a holely wok, he made by himself, according to Christabel, Hansen spent a month to drill holes whenever he is free. He is a good carpenter, he likes to make things special and practical from something, each time I go to their house, I will definitely walk around their house to find something 'new' and get inspired, you will have surprise each time you go.

Hansen used this wok for their beach side BBQ in Singapore, this time he came to OPEN our eyes. When the charcoals were set, he put some in a shallow flower pot, then set the wok on top of it, he started cooking the prawns, like usual cooking, frying and stirring with spatula; "It is his dream to cook in the garden!" said Christabel, haha his dream came true yesterday.

Delicious food, feel the warmth of the BBQ, it's the greatest love connection. After the food, Marcia got ready many small gifts, as our children's game rewards, how thoughtful she is, there were 8 in total, from two years old to 8 years old. They group in 2, made up 4 groups, racing to complete some tasks. It was so fun, and we enjoyed the time, and were amused by their expressions and spontaneous reactions. Oh definitely they liked the games, and I believe this is the greatest way building relationship and strengthening the bonds of attachment.

It was about 9pm after the game, we have decided to station back to Alex's home to have an early 'Boxing day', that was a mess.... the floor filled torn away wrapping papers, but looking at their faces and our faces, it is such a blessing to have all of them in my life, thanks to the Lord for His awesomeness!

Christmas is the season of love and connection, of course Jesus is the reason. Praise Him always.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Avatar 3D Movie

The only one thing I can remember when I watched 3D action long ago, it has got to be 'headache' and it makes you want to vomit, ever after that very time ( about 12 years ago) I will never ever wanted to try it again, I will just say 'NO' to 3D movies.

Just last night, Debbie had got an invitation for free dinner and free screening of Avatar at GSC One Utama, she brought me along, I didn't know it was 3D at first, I wouldn't have gone if I knew it is. The first thought in me when I found out it is a 3D movie was 'Oh my, I just told my friends in last Saturday's meeting, I won't go for 3D movies, because it makes me want to vomit and gives me headache, and now I am in it..... oh, prepare to have an headache after this!'.

Nothing I can do, I can't just go home. Just some expectation in my head and prepare myself to get those sicknesses. We had the buffet dinner, then head to Hall 10, they served us free drink and a regular pop corn which quite a surprise to us, that was good, having everything for free, we got a pair of 3D spectacles before entering to the movie hall, the specs were cool, not those I knew and I wore, they were better quality in this high and revolutionary technology.

I was quite excited even before the movie starts, due to the
free food, free drink and free popcorn, ha! And it was really great when the movie started, my eyes opened wide and watched it clear, amazing with the pictures and drawings, the jungles, the animation, the lighting, they were fascinating, the most fantastic thing was, I didn't have any those sicknesses I mentioned earlier, I am totally alright with this 3D technology now, guess what? Debbie vomited! ooh, poor her.

Totally dwelt in the movie, this is a great movie, it is really surprise you and offer things you have never seen before, loved the trees, the flowers, the bugs, the floating lands, waterfalls, those six legs creatures, flying dragons (big birds), the moss lights up when they step on it, I like the most are those Atlantean people's mind got connected to every creature and plant in this jungle.

Go, go, go for this movie, it was super 'shiok', the story was great, the scenes were beautiful, those ideas were beyond our imagination, quite a long time since the film ended.... erm.... about 2 hours after the show now, I still 'don't want' to 'walk out' from the movie..... still thinking about the 'flying', I love flying......

If you want to watch 3D movie, here is the link I found that you could read the trick help you to avoid headache:

Trick to avoid headache when watching 3D movie

Thursday, December 17, 2009

What kind of attitude ...

You know, sometimes when we did something wrong, friend will confront our wrong doing according to Bible teaching through a 3rd party, what kind of attitude we usually react to this kind of advice?

I think my first reaction will be: ' Who are you? Mind your own business? Yes, I really did. You know what? I rather the friend confront me directly than telling other in the 'act of helping'. I have to admit, my attitude was proud and arrogant.

And I believe most of us will then follow by saying: 'Look at he/her own self, not a good one though, what have I done with him/her?', very quickly we will turn the missile back to their way of living, pint out their weaknesses... may be we will say: 'who are they to judge?'.

Exactly, 'Who are you to judge?', then I asked my sister about this incident, she got a very convincing and strong advice from her beloved husband - Hansen, he said: 'Open the Bible, read to them Proverbs 10:17, and tell them "I am not the one who speaks but the Lord", we don't have to live a perfect live to give you this advice, no body on earth is perfect, all of us falling short of the glory of God, we have to have humility and a teachable heart to accept friend's advice, of course, don't try to act 'helpful' by telling others, confront the person directly with love and encouragement.

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up,
just as in fact you are doing.

(1 Thessalonians 5:11 NIV)

Just recently, I dug out all that have been hidden in my heart for quite some times, feeling 'lighter' now,!

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Friends & Lovers - Chapter 2 part 2

Now we know what not to do. This, however, is just half of the story. The other half is much more positive. How can a husband and wife create a relationship with great communication? What can be done to start it up and keep it going? How can we talk like never before?

How to Build Communication

1. Seek to Synchronize

Communication is an all-the-time thing, not just something we do in times of crisis. Too many of us get out of tune with our spouses and wait for problems to force us back into harmony. Instead, we should develop an ease and constancy of conversation that is rhythmic and instinctive.

How can we develop this kind of daily dialogue? Work at it all the time, every day: Talk as you dress for work or church, as you drive together, at mealtimes and during other regular activities. Much good can be done during "coffee time" or any time when we can get a few minutes during the day. Such times form the fabric of a great marriage.

2. Spend Special Seasons

In addition to daily times conversing, we need to regularly carve out larger blocks of time to spend together. Take walks or go bike riding with one another. Get the kids to bed early and spend a quiet evening alone at home. Busy schedules make this a challenge, but we strongly urge that you retire for the evening at the same time. This provides a natural opportunity to wrap things up by spending a few minutes catching up on the day's events - this can also lead to other exciting forms of communication as well! Get away together overnight. You don't have to wait until anniversaries or birthdays - just pack a bag and go! It doesn't take a huge amount of planning or money to spend an evening at a nearby hotel or bed and breakfast. And even one night away can seem much longer when you learn to relax and enjoy yourselves.

3. Be Refreshingly Real

To have a friendship, couples must talk heart-to-heart. When we lose the deep bonding of our souls, marriage becomes stale, empty and lifeless. We may perform a daily routine, but that's all it is - a performance-there is little or no satisfying intimacy and friendship. Somewhere along the way we become superficial. We no longer talk with each other; we merely exchange information. And when we reach this point, both of us are prime candidates for adultery.

4. Learn the levels

In this book The Friendship Factor Alan Loy McGinnis points out that there are three levels of communication: facts, opinions and emotions. To have a close marriage, it is imperative that we learn to communicate truthfully and openly on all three levels. To help understand this, consider this scenario:

Fact: Husband is late for a lunch date with his wife.
His opinion: "This is my secretary's fault. She always hits me with something just when I'm ready to leave. But, I still might have made it on time if I hadn't stopped at that stupid newsstand on the way to the car."

Her opinion: "Late again! He could have left work sooner if he really wanted to. He just takes me for granted. This is just another example of his lack of love and consideration for me. And he's not even going to listen to me if I try to tell him how I feel. I wonder if he even loves me anymore. Oh, maybe it is all my fault-I'm always nagging him about something."

His emotions: (1) anger at his secretary (2) anxiety about his wife's possible reaction and (3) guilt brought on by his opinion that he could have been on time.

Her emotions: (1) anger (2) hurt (3) hopelessness caused by her opinion that he will not listen to her (4) fear that he does not really love her anymore and (5) guilt caused by her opinion that she may be too critical of him.

Are you as lost as I am on all this? Is it any wonder that the simplest of human events can become so terribly complex and that a minor problem can erupt into a major crisis?

Many situations become more difficult because men and women usually communicate on different levels. Facts and opinions are paramount to a man; whereas emotions and opinions are vital to a woman. "Can't we just stick to the facts?" protests the husband. "Why are you so unfeeling?" replies the wife. To argue this way is futile-it is attacking the person, not the root problem. Instead, we need to work with our spouses. We should recognize and understand on which level they are communicating and then help them to understand where we are. When we do, we are on our way to a marriage blessed with outstanding communication.

5. Lighten up

Many of you believe that anything to do with communication is by nature negative. In your minds it always means dealing with something difficult, tedious, unpleasant and hard. No wonder you dread anything akin to deep conversation! Or, if you are the "heavy," this is why your spouse groans whenever you want to "have a talk."

"Deep" doesn't have to be draining or depressing. Honesty is far more than just gut-wrenching confessions or an exploration of the dark side of your soul. Communications goes beyond talking about problems, disagreements and unpleasant experiences. It also means expressing out love, our appreciation and our respect for each other. It includes sharing the good news and good things in life with each other. Enjoy some laughter, share some memories, talk about your dreams, share your hearts...and lighten up!

6. Speak Silently

Words, phrases and sentences form only a small part of how we communicate. We convey much more with our attention, our expressions, our tone of voice and our touch.

Attention. Gaze at your spouses when you talk to them. Give them your complete attention. Look into their eyes-not just in their general direction. This let them know you are listening and care. It is frustrating to speak to someone who is preoccupied-reading the paper, staring at the TV, stirring something in a pot, or drifting aways in thought. If the conversation is light, then we can afford to listen as we go about doing something else, but we must be sensitive as to when to stop what we are doing and give our full attention to our spouses.

Expression. Look at your spouse with a warm, friendly expression. A blank stare communicates boredom. The tight-knitted brow conveys preoccupation or weariness in listening. The sarcastic sneer indicates disrespect. Need I go on? Get your heart into the conversation and a good expression on your face!

Tone. The same words spoken in different tones can have different meanings and different effects. This is the place so many of us stumble in our communication skills. "Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones" (Proverbs 16:24).

Touch. Since we who are married are "one flesh," we ought to touch freely and frequently.

7. Show Common Courtesy

Life is not lost by dying! Life is lost
Minute by minute, day by dragging day,
In all the thousand, small, uncaring ways.
Stephen Vincent Benet

Little things make a big difference. Life does not consist exclusively of great events-it is made up of a myriad of small, seemingly unnoticed moments. Often it is not the one big injury that ruins a marriage-it is the accumulation of small hurts and discourtesies over time. Solomon said it long ago: "Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom" (Songs of Songs 2:15). Let me suggest some ways to catch the "little foxes" of discourtesy:

Express appreciation.
Do small, unexpected favours.
Lighten the load
Compliment appearance.

8. Share the Spiritual

"For where two or three come together in my name, there
am I with them"
(Matthew 18:20)

Help each other spiritually. Share encouraging verses from your own study of the Scriptures.

9. Practice the Praise Principle

Finally, brothers, whatever is true,
whatever is noble, whatever is right,
whatever is pure, whatever is lovely,
whatever is admirable-if anything is
excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things.
(Philippians 4:8)

Focus your thoughts on the good qualities in your spouse. If you occupy yourself with the pure, the lovely, the admirable, the excellent and the praiseworthy characteristics in your mate, then you, and they, will reap a benefit.

It has been observed that it takes five compliments to offset the effect of one criticism. When you give compliments, watch your spouse-and your marriage-blossom before your eyes.

10. Faithfully Forgive

Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances
you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you
(Colossians 3:13)

~ *;* ~

These are the basics on communication. Understand them. Work on them. Master them. Communication takes work and commitment. Those who are lazy will have no success. But when you care enough to communicate, you help your wife or husband feel your love. Listen to Paul's great statement about love in 1 Corinthians 13 and notice how so much that he says is directly related to communication and the principles we have talked about in this chapter:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).

If you don't communicate, you don't love. If you don't embrace these qualities of love, you will never communicate. According to a best-selling book, men seem to be from one planet and women from another, but God has a plan for us to share our lives with one another, and his plan will produce rich and rewarding results.

Friends & Lovers chapter 2 Can we Talk? part 2

Friends & Lovers - Chapter 2 Can we talk? part 1

Can We Talk?
How is the communication going in your marriage? Do you know and understand your spouse? Do you talk on a deep level, or do you limit your conversation to the superficial and mundane? Do you find yourself holding in what you would like to say? Are you frustrated? Are you afraid to talk about what is most important? Do you have difficulty putting your thoughts and feelings into words? Do you find that you are not even sure what your feelings and thoughts are? Is your idea of an open exchange limited to having an intense confrontation? When is the last time you had a heart-to-heart discussion with your spouse that was more than an angry scene? Are there things you have lied about to your spouse or deliberate withheld from him or her? How often do you just sit down and talk?

Let's face it: it is usually men who hold back in communication.

Our message to you is that is does not have to be this way. You can change. Your spouse can change. You can build a relationship in which you communicate openly, consistently and deeply. It will take work. It will call for humility. It will demand self-denial and persistence. In a word, it will be challenging. But the rewards of a revived and renewed marriage are infinitely greater than the effort it will take to change.

But how do we do it? What are the attitudes, actions and habits that prevent real communication? What must we overcome to open the way to a true sharing of our hearts and lives? We will discuss in detail ten of the most common problems that can and will kill communication within our marriages.

Communication Killers

1. Failure to Listen
My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. (James 1:19)

Communication is a two-way street. It is far more than merely saying what we want to say and getting our point across - it means listening as well.

The way to change is ... just change! Pledge that when your spouse addresses you, you will stop what you are doing, change your train of thought, look him or her in the eyes, and listen lovingly and attentively to every word. (Husbands: In preparation for this change, buy some smelling salts to use in reviving your wife when she faints from shock!)

2. Defensive Listening

He who answers before listening - that is his folly and his shame

( Proverbs 18:13)

Defensive "listening" is done not to hear and consider the words of our spouses, but merely to give ourselves time to prepare a response. We never really give their opinions or feelings serious consideration. We even finish our spouses' phrases for them, as if they needed our quick minds to help them make it to the end of a sentence.

The root of this problem is pride. We are defensive because we assume we are right most of the time.Have you ever stopped long enough to consider that your spouse could have a glimmer of insight? That he or she might even be right or have a better idea?

Learn how to respectfully and patiently listen to one another.

3. Disrespect of Viewpoint

A fool finds no pleasure in understanding
but delights in airing his own opinions
(Proverbs 18:2)

Many of us have the attitude that we are always right, and that we know more than everyone else, especially more than our spouses. We snap off quick answers. The main exercise we get is by jumping to conclusions! We feel free to contradict and correct our mates - often in front of others. We say things like, "What she really means is..." or " Forgive my husband, he's so..." This is rude and embarrassing, and reveals an attitude of disrespect. If you find yourself repeatedly improving or altering what your husband or wife is saying, you have a real problem. Actually, you probably won't "find yourself" doing it at all - it is a longtime habit hidden within a smug superior disposition. In all likelihood, this communication flaw will need to be pointed out to you; you are not likely to see it on your own.

4. Cutting, Critical Remarks

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths,
but only what is helpful for building others up according
to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen
(Ephesians 4:29)

The tongue that cuts, slashes and wounds is one of the most common, hurtful and lethal problems in marriage. It has many forms. It speaks with tainted tones of sarcasm and muffled mutterings of bitterness. It expresses itself with phony sincerity and with hurtful shouts, name-calling and cursing. It disguises its criticism with cruel humor, mockery and subtle jabs. And it shows itself in our body language of smirks, rolling eyes and shaking heads.

We justify ourselves in the name of honesty: "I always say exactly what I think." Or we subtly turn the tables: "Oh, I didn't realize you were so sensitive." In spite of how reasonable our excuses may sound to us, they right hollow as we consider the inspired words of Scripture, " not rude" (1 Corinthians 13:4-5)

Whatever the reason, there is never an excuse to speak in such a way as to retaliate, humiliate or denigrate. We must radically repent of such sinful speech.

5. Hinting

Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things
grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ.
(Ephesians 4:15)

If rudeness is the weakness of some, obliqueness is the weakness of others. By this I mean an indirect, subtle hinting around what we really mean to say. We drop a hint here and there, then expect our mate to be a psychologist and mind reader rolled into one. And to top it off, if he or she does not figure it out, we get upset! We need to stop playing this selfish, immature game. It unfairly puts the burden upon our spouses to figure out what we already know and could express if we chose. It is a form of control and manipulation. If we are afraid to say what we mean, we need to muster the courage to speak our minds, remembering that our fears are usually fears of how we, not our mates, might be hurt.

6. Clamming Up

...Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and
do not give the devil a foothold
(Ephesians 4:26-27)

Some of us have a great way to avoid conflict - we clam up! We go for hours or days without really talking. When we are angry, hurt or afraid, we withdraw into a shell of self-protection. We simmer in anger, quiver in fear or wallow in self-pity. We solve nothing by this behavior. Shutting down can become a form of manipulation.

If something is troubling you, you should let your spouse know. You need to pick the right time and place, but you must talk it out, or it will degenerate into bitterness and resentment. You must trust God's plan, which I would describe this way: Get it out in the open, talk about it, solve it, and go on with life.

7. Blowing Up

A fool gives full vent to his anger,
but a wise man keeps himself under control
(Proverbs 29:11)

Anger is a dangerous emotion. Losing our temper, flying off the handle, and erupting into a volcanic rage is a serious and grave matter. How many times have we wished we could have reached out and seized our angry words before they struck their mark? How many times have we had to apologize for the wounds we have inflicted?

Some of us excuse ourselves with "Well, I do have a bit of a temper. It runs in my family, you know." Others of us are genuinely sorry, but feel enslaved to our anger. Still others of us use anger as a tool to intimidate, bully and get our way.

8. Grumbling, Griping and Complaining

Do everything without complaining or arguing,
so that you may become blameless and pure,
children of God without fault in a crooked and
depraved generation, in which you shine like
starts in the universe
(Philippians 2:14-15)

It is unpleasant to talk to someone who always complains. To continually complain about life - how unfair, how rotten, how difficult - can quite effectively drive our beloved away from us. Griping, like many other communication problems, is actually a deep-seated character flaw to which we are often blind. If we knew how unattractive it is (even though others sometimes join us in our griping) we would retreat from such talk with horror. Perhaps it will take a marriage partner or another person to help us see the ugliness of this awful habit. When they point it out we need to listen. They are speaking truth we need to hear.

9. Lying

Truthful lips endure forever,
but a lying tongue lasts only a moment
(Proverbs 12:19)

We can have no relationship with anyone to whom we lie. Our spouses cannot be close to us, nor we to them, if there is deceit of any sort between us. We may believe that we have gotten away with our deception, but it still separates us. Down in our hearts we know that he or she does not truly know us.

Are you careless with the truth? Do you lie about anything - even "little" things? We may think that a minor fabrication is fine, but if we lie about anything - no matter how large or small - we have undercut our relationship.

The best policy is to simply tell the truth - even if it makes us look bad. "Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No', 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one" (Matthew 5:37).

10. Distractions

Listen, for I have worthy things to say;
I open my lips to speak what is right
(Proverbs 8:6)

By distractions I mean the clamorous telephone, the ubiquitous TV, the intriguing Internet, the blaring radio and the isolating headset. All of these high-tech conveniences can prevent us from real and relaxing communication with our spouses.

Radical steps must be taken to protect our relationships from all these competing intrusions.

But just reading through this list will not change your marriage. You must take these things seriously. You must treat them as a threat to your relationship and make sure they are put out of your life.

Friends & Lovers chapter 2 Can we Talk? part 1

Friends & Lovers - Chapter 1

I am reading this book, and wanted to share with you some of good points.

Friends & Lovers by Sam and Geri Laing
Discipleship Publications International
His mouth is sweetness itself;
he is altogether lovely.
This is my lover, this my friend,
O daughters of Jerusalem.
Song of songs 5:16
Best friends. Exciting lovers. Rarely has the heart and soul of marriage been summed up any better. Friendship and romantic love are the two essential ingredients of a great marriage, the qualities that will make it grow ever richer, deeper and more fulfilling. Although thisshould be the norm, few of us grew up seeing such marriages, and perhaps even fewer of us believed that we could experience such a relationship ourselves. Many have seen marriage as a drain rather than a fountainhead, a battleground instead of a refuge, and a pit stop rather than a permanent home.

Put aside your preconceptions, your problems and your past. Above all, get rid of your low expectations. A marriage relationship between two people who are friends and lovers is not just for the gifted, the beautiful or the few. It is intended for everyone, including you. The only thing stopping you is your doubt. It is time to lay faithlessness aside and get on with the business of building your marriage.

Let us begin with the foundation. What role should marriage play in our lives?

  • Our Lifetime Companions
The Lord God said, "it is not good for the man to be alone.
I will make a helper suitable for him"
Genesis 2:18

Our spouses should be our best friends on earth. They should know our minds, hearts, souls and feelings more than anyone else does. They above all others, are the people whom we love to b with, talk to or just sit in silence with, and with whom we share life's day-to-day experiences, heartbreaks and joys.

  • The Foundation of Accomplishment
If we are married, the strength of that marriage is the basis of a powerful, effective life. Our ability to accomplish is magnified amazingly when we have our spouses at our sides supporting us and working with us. Happy are those who recognize that marriage is teamwork, that we are better together than we are apart! If you look carefully, you will see that most of us marry someone quite different from us in temperament and personality. This is by God's design and is a part of the genius and mystery of marriage - although we all have weaknesses, our spouses' strengths can often make up for them. Working together as one, we each become the person we never would have become on our own.

  • The Fulfillment of Our Sexuality
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,
and they will become one flesh.
Genesis 2:24

Sex is one of the most powerful forces in the world. It is inspires, frustrates, satisfies, mystifies and torments us. God created sex and sexuality. He made us male and female, and instructed that we become "one flesh." If you have not yet figured out that those words are talking about sex in marriage please read on! God did not make a mistake when he invented sex - it was a part of the great design - a design to perpetuate the human race, to give himself glory, and to give us joy, happiness and fulfillment.

The marriage of a man and a woman who become lifetime friends and lovers is God's plan for our sexual contentment. It is a great plan, an ingenious plan, a plan that works in real life; and it is high time many of you married couples began to enjoy it!

  • A place to Build a Family
God blessed them and said to them,
"Be fruitful and increase in number;
fill the earth..."
Genesis 1:28

Family is to be the fundamental unit of all society.

~ *;* ~

Friends and Lovers! That is God's plan for marriage. We are to be best friends for life. We are to accomplish together what we could never do alone. We are to have an exciting, fulfilling sex life. We are to raise our children to be persons of character and integrity who will be a blessing to us in our old age. What God plans, he enables. What an awesome plan and what a great promise!

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Mistakes help us grow

I had this experience, long time ago, a female friend came to me, and mentioned to me some 'problems' of a male friend of us had last time, say about 'problem = sin', and this female friend asked me what do I think about this male friend now? (Indeed, this action I called GOSSIP), so what exactly I told the female friend was: 'We are here to not judge this male friend's behavior, anyhow, 'It' WAS his problem, may be he had this problem before he accepted Christ, or even if he still had this after the conversion, we never knew what God is doing in his life, he might be fighting and struggling to make the change! Who are we to judge and to condemn? Let him alone settle with God, like we settle our problems to God. We forgive as Christ forgives our sins.

I had another experience, have you heard of the Chinese saying? ”一次不忠百次不用“ means 'You are useless once you've failed' (hopefully I am correctly translated), a person looses a chance to in charge of a duty because of his past. Once a sinner always a sinner? I wanted so much to voice out my opinion, but I stopped, the most obvious reason was their comments on the person out of their condemnation and judgmentalism, I am just a little woman, a single mother, in another word a divorcy..... better keep quiet, haha (what am I doing? laughing? No, just try to end this sentence in a 'soft' way.)

What would Jesus do? I believe you know better than me. Like Peter, he denied God three times, and Paul, he killed Christians, God used them mightily, and even did things greater than anyone; like Mary Madeline, Jesus even mentioned that her deed is being recorded and remembered.

Mistakes help us grow! I forgot when have I started changing my attitude being gracious and mercy on people's wrong doing (I am sure this is what God wants!), of course not changing overnight, time to time, day by day, from my dearest sister, from Pastor Jacinta, from Jesus.

Thanks to all precious teachers in my life!

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