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Monday, May 27, 2013

Rekindle first love for God

Just came back from camp, SCF family camp was held at Bentong Eco Dusun 'Resort', this resort is in 'Army' style kind of resort. 

I love this place though, nothing is better than when you are surrounding by trees and trees and trees. 

No coverage or I should say weak phone reception, no wifi, no air-con even in hall, it's a heaven to busy people (I suppose). Afternoons were super hot, these were the time they went for 'obstacle race', 'Bamboo Raft Building' and 'Jungle Walk' activities. 

There were rain in both of the afternoons, started at about 4pm, it was the end time of all activities, so thankful for the rains, it gave us a very cooling nights.

A very different camp to me as compared  to those camps I have attended, the first difference was due to the hurt of left knee ligaments in late February, it is still not fully recovered, hence I was not able to join all outdoor activities (kinda boring...). All I did was staying indoor, taking photos, praise and worship, and listening to sermons.

5 sermons in total, these messages have just given me a booster to rekindle my first love to God. Apart from this wonderful messages, God did a wonderful work in me. 

On the first night, a few of brothers and sisters were given chance after a worship session to shared our experience with God during the worship time. Some have seen vision, some have heard God spoken to them. And some felt God's presence. 

I stepped out to share my experience with God. During my low time, I stopped praying, I stopped reading Bible, I stopped talking to God, I knew He is love, I knew He will not forsake me, I knew He has a plan for me, I knew that He has his perfect time to raise me up again (I know I am being selfish by pushing all responsibility to God.) I then learned to know when one is so low, they are also very weak despite of knowing God's greatness and faithfulness, they don't even have the strength to even call for God's help. This experience has helped me to right my wrong mind set, I thought it is merely just the matter of one's decision, I thought it is merely just a simple action of 'fall and stand up again to keep going' thing; I was so wrong, God put me in this situation to allow myself to 'see', not as what I thought. 

During low time, keep serving Him is the only connection I had had with God. And I know it is something I can not and should not 'cut away', and so I keep serving. And I praise Him, He has been with me to walk through this low time, He has been teaching patiently about His grace, love and faithfulness. 

I also confessed in the congregation about the sin of being prideful. This has been my lesson to improve to becoming a person with a humble heart. I confessed that I may be seen outwardly a humble lady, but inside me I am prideful, please don't misunderstood me a person of hypocrite, I am not, I am just in the progress of changing and moulding. 

And then there was something very very special on the second night, after night service, some went back to dorm, some chose to spend some time with one another, Elaine and I didn't want to go to bed, we had a chat in the hall, where praise and worship team was practising pieces for tomorrow service. 

While I was talking, I had a burp, extra ordinary burp, I felt very painful in my chest, and it passed to armpit, and went to my right hand. The breath of the burp smelled badly, Elaine told me it wasn't normal, and so she prayed for me.

More burps after the prayer, and I had a feeling of 'vomiting', Elaine hurried to get me a plastic bag, I grabbed some tissues sat down immediately. the pain of the chest still there, I kept burping, and I felt there were more and more saliva gather in my mouth, and it was very thick and 'creamy' or I should say slime. 

I had to spit them out, and it was very slimy, I find it hard just to spit and cut the slime, instead, I had to use tissue to 'pinch' in order to break it. This actions repeated a few times, until the 'slimy saliva' stopped forming. I had some dry coughs, and burps at the same time. 

This delivery took place out of my expectation. And I felt God's power, and experience this, nothing unholy can stand in the presence of a holy God. 

A big Amen to this awesome work of God. 

God's love can reach any person in any sin, and it stretches from eternity past to eternity future. It takes us into the very presence of God and sits us on His throne. John Mac Arthur, The New Testament Commentary

 And now, I am not knowing 'God is love' in theory, but personally experience God's love in length, width, height and depth. 

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