A Stream in the Desert

A stream in the Desert is hymn No.215 in "Songs of the Kingdom", a song book that has been using by Central Christian Church, Christabel gave me the book long time ago.

This song is my all time favourite, since I am lured by the Lord to this place (situation) called 'desert', a situation that is hopeless, hungry and thirsty, which my spirit, soul, mind and body were exhausted and tired, here... the Lord my God speaks to me softly, assure me of His presence. I then know ... what He wants me to learn through this incident - 'A Stream in the Desert' is the answer.

A Stream in the Desert

verse 1
I'm thirsty and hungry and longing,
But nothing on earth can fulfill.
There's a place in my heart that is empty,
That only my
God can fill.

Chorus
A Stream in the desert when I'm thirsty,
The richest of fare when I'm weak,
Thru' the darkest of nights I think only of You.
Oh, Your presence I earnestly seek.

verse 2
My troubles and foes can surround me.
Then I call on Your name and I stand.
I remember Your power and glory,
And in praise I will lift up my hands.

Chorus
For I've seen You in the sanctuary.
To Your presence my longing soul clings.
I will praise You as long as I have life to live,
And I'll sing in the shadow of Your wings.

verse 3
If I had every passion and pleasure,
And if ease and success marked my ways,
Well, Your love still would be so much better than life,
So my lips will keep singing Your praise.

Chorus
A Stream in the desert when I'm thirsty,
The richest of fare when I'm weak,
Thru' the darkest of nights I think only of You.
Oh, Your presence I earnestly seek.

This song helps me to put my focus unto Him, and it reminds me of last time, this was the song I keep singing at the beginning of my Christian life.

I teared each time, and I am still tearing. Tear of joy, tear of fulfillment. The verse were written in minor key, then with a pivot modulation to major key in the last chord of verse, leads you to the major mood in the chorus, with this mood, it swings you up to the hope, love and joy, that is why I say this is tear of joy, tear of hope, tear of fulfillment.

As I have mentioned in past post [Count my Blessings], - I have Him who gives me all I lack. Blessed be with the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Isaiah 35

Joy of the Redeemed

¹ The desert and the parched land will be glad;
the wilderness will rejoice and blossom.
Like the crocus, ² it will burst into bloom;
it will rejoice greatly and shout for joy.
The glory of Lebanon will be given to it,
the splendor of Carmel and Sharon;
they will see the glory of the LORD,
the splendor of our God.

³ Strengthen the feeble hands,
steady the knees that give way;

⁴ say to those with fearful hearts,
"Be strong, do not fear;
your God will come,
he will come with vengeance;
with divine retribution
he will come to save you."

⁵ Then will the eyes of the blind be opened
and the ears of the deaf unstopped.

⁶ Then will the lame leap like a deer,
and the mute tongue shout for joy.
Water will gush forth in the wilderness
and streams in the desert.

⁷ The burning sand will become a pool,
the thirsty ground bubbling springs.
In the haunts where jackals once lay,
grass and reeds and papyrus will grow.

⁸ And a highway will be there;
it will be called the Way of Holiness;
it will be for those who walk on that Way.
The unclean will not journey on it;
wicked fools will not go about on it.

⁹ No lion will be there,
nor any ravenous beast;
they will not be found there.
But only the redeemed will walk there,

¹⁰ and those the LORD has rescued will return.
They will enter Zion with singing;
everlasting joy will crown their heads.
Gladness and joy will overtake them,
and sorrow and sighing will flee away.

Personality Analysis

Base on the test provided by :

Get to know yourself better

Here is the analysis:

Your view on yourself:

You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.



How true it is?

It's just a test anyway...


m... quite true indeed. ha.

Count My Blessings

It’s been quite rough days for me, but better focus on counting my blessings rather than my trials. I have a lot to be grateful for—family, friends, health, and talents.

I’ve always felt that being actively listing and talking about the good things in my life has had a positive effect.

In one set of observations, college students kept a diary, with some instructed to write about how they felt grateful and others told to concentrate on daily hassles or routine events.

There were fewer illnesses among the “gratitude” group, the researchers found that emphasizing gratefulness improved satisfaction with their lives, as well as their amount and quality of sleep. That study involved observations from the participants and family members.

And so here I go...

I have HIM, who gives me all that I lack, I have Gab, who are super precious! I have family and friends that all care and forgiving. I am smart and beauty (I know some are a little prejudice, ha), but think twice, at least I am grateful for who I am.

I have all senses that function well, I know some are stoic, most importantly I am so thankful that I can express how I feel and what I think.

I am positive, though I found I think a lot, nevertheless the final result is always positive...er.... at least most of the time!

Is that so little....?


Praise the Lord, this is a sudden pour out, oops ..... I am stuck-up!


My dear friends, can you help me?

Freedom of choice

For some reasons,

I was trapped in a so called fate,

it wasn't fun at all!

It was one part of life,

I am feeling good and great,

the 'no' was a magic word that dispels the bond,

once again,

I see the beauty of the unknown future

I smell the aroma of the unknown joy

I touch the softness of the unknown peace

I sense the romance of the unknown love

How beautiful and wonderful life will be

How precious

and

lucky

what once

was lost is now found

the

Freedom of choice

The God of All Comfort

³Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, ⁴who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4

My experience with God has grew stronger and stronger, and His response has become so sharp and immediate, I don't even have to ask of His comfort, He is there with me, waiting for me to talk to Him, and here is the verse He showed as I continue my devotion like the other night.

Hosea 2:14-15 (New International Version)

¹⁴ "Therefore I am now going to allure her;
I will lead her into the desert
and speak tenderly to her.

¹⁵ There I will give her back her vineyards,
and will make the Valley of Achor ^a]">[a] a door of hope.
There she will sing ^b]">[b] as in the days of her youth,
as in the day she came up out of Egypt.

Footnotes:

1. Hosea 2:15 Achor means trouble .
2. Hosea 2:15 Or respond

As I meditate the verse,

allure - attract, beguile, cajole, captivate, charm, coax, decoy, enchant, entice, inveigle, lead on, lure, persuade, seduce, tempt, win over

1) God does not just take her to wilderness, but allure, why does God want to do that? when He could just take her or put her there?

desert -

1. A barren or desolate area, especially:
   1. A dry, often sandy region of little rainfall, extreme temperatures, and sparse vegetation.
   2. A region of permanent cold that is largely or entirely devoid of life.
   3. An apparently lifeless area of water.
2. An empty or forsaken place; a wasteland: a cultural desert.
3. Archaic. A wild, uncultivated, and uninhabited region.

2) desert - such a hopeless place where no food and water, sandy and extreme weather.

Then God speak to her tenderly and gently.

Looks like God is playing a game, somehow the previous note I have asked and wonder if He jokes, of course He doesn't. We are stubborn and filled with self-confidence, we will not like or indeed we will easily fall away if He just put us in this place, and there He allures ...... it is not a punishment, He makes sure we are learning it step by step, and He realized we no longer depend on His Holy Spirit but by our own strength and strategy, may be it sounds way too serious, just put it this way, He is just teaching me, even though things don't come out the way it should, but He is there with me, to assure of His promises.

Well, I like verse 15, hahaha it is the promise, who doesn't?

It is quite clear enough of His promise, I shall not weary. He is awesome and faithful, Praise be with the Lord our Almighty God.

Blessed are those who put his trust on Him.


Love.

Does God joke?

This is an interesting question right? many will tell ... 'no, God says what He meant!'. I believe it, God does not joke.

I thought thru and thru, checking all the characters mentioned in Bible, God is faithful, God is just, God is love, God is great.... many more but never mentioned God jokes.

Recent incident, indeed it is an answer for an extra-ordinary issue; From the beginning, God started it (of course I prayed for it) and Asked for confirmation many many times, I was doubt and refused to accept to be true, and as days went by, prayers continued, assurance kept coming ... and I grew to understand His way of working, and I learned to accept, and learned to obey, and it was this time I learned that God's answer is immediate, He led step by step, He solved every doubt I've had, and He calmed me down, It was such a sweet time I had had with God.

Months ago, desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried, I plead for clue to my fate. He showed me an extra-ordinary scene from outside my window while I was teaching, He answered: 'you must wait!'. "Wait?", He said "wait!", my indignant reply. This is a big word to me, because it was the time I wanted to give up. Have you came across the situation where you were up set about the result, and you didn't have any clue or better way to go, and you have been waiting for the best time to go, now you decided to give up, because you just don't want to go anymore deeper, someone came by and said: 'You must wait! '


Last month, I asked Him again, "By faith I have asked, and am claiming your Word.", "I'm needing a 'ýes,' or even a 'no' to which I can quit, I am very tiring about this. Then He replied, I learned of my fate, as my dear Father answered once again, "You must wait."

Today, I have got the 'answer' (not from God), which I should have got it a year ago, but this is not what God has told, I am here to wait for 'another' 'no'? What a joke! .... I did not weary, trying to understand the whole incident, and at last I realized, God does not joke, God promised Israelite for the Canaan Land, His people refused to obey and trust in His word, and so the blessing felt onto another generation that God raised to inherit His abundancy.

In this path that I am walking, not alone, He is with me, teaching me every lesson .... it is an extra-ordinary experience, I learned how God works thing, I learned God's plan is higher than any one's plan, He is my shelter, my lover, my friend, I tell him everything, I trust His answer.

This is not the end of the path, I will continue to walk, I am not afraid, I will not be strayed, I will not doubt His plan, He will lead me to a higher place.

你是上帝眼中的瞳仁

太好了,没有任何东西能比让人接受道歉来得开心.

这是牧师的回邮:

耶稣爱你，我也爱你。

上帝祝福你

接待人是一个非常重要的功课；有人在接待当中不知不觉就接待了天使 （来13：2）- 亚伯拉罕是一个例子-（创18章）

耶稣也非常看重这点：-（太10：40-42）； 想想看，上帝多么好。我们接待先知竟得先知的赏赐；接待牧者岂不得着牧者的赏赐？顺服必蒙福！

我接纳你的道歉。也接纳你！你是上帝眼中的瞳仁！！


以及牧师娘的回邮:

Hi ! Jane

We just came back from Solo, Keluarga Allah. Don't felt bad. Fetch to airport is small thing.

We felt proud of u to concern us. We will join hand to hand to serve the Lord. Please don't blame yourself. U r important in God's eye, u r part of the body of Christ. We should encourage each other to grow and serve our mighty God.

Warmest regard

Mee kim

Jane's Note:

Really thankful for their acceptance. They are indeed our good Papa and Mama. I will treat them well.

Save Our Waterfalls Campaign - Kanching

"Save Our Waterfalls @ Kanching Waterfalls Clean-up Campaign" was held in 19 April, this was the first BIG Event for the Waterfall Survivors.

Here is Group D - for family and 'young in heart' group.










Segregating the garbage into - Tin, Aluminum, bottles, and glass bottles.


















Joe Yap, the founder of Waterfall Survivors.






























Went up to the higher tier for a cool dip!

致歉书

前天，收到一封电邮，是Yap San 转寄给我的，题目为 [灵命日粮 - 2009 年 4 月 20 日 - 忠心的该犹] 当我读完这篇文章后，我忽然想起一件事，就是上个星期日，在Ben的车里所发表的[载送]事件。本以为不应该作的事，切原来发现那是缺乏爱心与诚心，这让我心里很内疚，所以我就立刻写了这封电邮给牧师及牧师娘，向他们致歉。

亲爱的牧师及牧师娘，

想必上帝是要我学习如何用爱心，诚心来对待宣教士或教师， 所以他让我在这个时候使YAP SAN 寄来了这篇文章。。。
每一回，他都会着样子与我说话及教导我所‘想’，感谢上帝，他没把我遗弃，或认为我是无药可救。

我实在要在这里做个道歉，对不起，说出这样有道理但不是真理的话，我会尽我所能去学习这一堂课。（也许你们忘记是什么事情，那是关于载送你们到机场的事。）

上帝在这几天里，不断的让我想起在印尼的侍奉，他们如何用爱心及诚心来照顾我们，让我好不感动。

我们更加要用这种心态来对待你们，我们的好牧者，我们。。这实在不好带的一群，请你别放弃我们！哈哈。

加油！

p/s: BCC to a few persons who have heard my comment on this issue, cos I want them to know how I am thinking right now, in order to let them 'follow up' the issue, this is my silly thinking of self-righteousness.... hope you guys forgive my wrong judgment. Let us serve and grow! (in Kingdom Kidz, our moto is grow and serve!)


Yours sincerely,

Jane Lee

忠心的该犹

读经: 约翰三书 金句: 「亲爱的兄弟（该犹）啊，凡你向作客旅之弟兄所行的，都是忠心的。」（约翰三书1章5节） 全年读经: 撒母耳记下9-11章 路加福音15章11-32节

在约翰三书里，教会的两个会友对来访信徒的反应，呈现出强烈的对比。该封信是写给「亲爱的」该犹，是约翰「诚心」所爱的（1节）。他心中存着真理，与上帝同行（3节）。他对待「客旅的弟兄」──好比保罗这样巡迴宣教的宣教士或教师，都是忠心而充满爱心的（5-6节）。

丢特腓则完全相反。他骄傲且盛气凌人（9节），并且用恶言妄论奉主名来访的弟兄（10节），或许甚至包括对保罗。不只如此，他还把愿意接待弟兄的人驱赶出教会。无庸置疑地，他这么做是在稳固自己的地位及利益，并且把焦点集中在自己身上。

我和妻子雪莉，还有我们的孙女布莉，最近拜访了一个曾经拒绝接受福音的国家。当地的信徒用信任、大方、好客及由衷的爱欢迎我们，虽然他们拥有的不多，但他们的慷慨令人印象十分深刻。这对我们是极大的鼓励！他们确实效法忠心该犹的榜样！

愿上帝赐我们一个充满爱及忠诚的灵，使我们愿意以「配得过上帝」（6节）的态度，对待我们的兄弟姐妹。DCE

彼此团契真甜美，
唱诗之际也甘甜；
若是待人极恶劣，
此时刻绝不愉悦。Isenhour

基督式的接待是敞开家门，以诚相待。

后记：

几位bcc的朋友看过后，都觉得我非常勇敢，及坦白，’对不起’ 这三个字，对他们来说是真的很难说出口，我告诉他们：‘的确是很难说出口，所以我用写的。’ 其实说简单一点，我只是要过得好一点，生命短暂，要尽快的解决心里的不安，让每天的日子过的自由自在。

其实还有一件还未解决的事，这件事让我什苦恼，真叫我头痛。。。但又不能直接解决，勇敢与坦白都用不上，这个...需要时间及智慧，求主恩待怜悯。

Father's Love Letter 天父爱的来信

天父爱的来信 (mandarin)

Father's Love Letter (english)

The Carmelite Monastry in Seremban

"A secret place' claimed sister Jacinta, 'come with me, the place only open to public twice a year, one is on Easter Sunday, another is on Christmas Sunday.'

Wow, that is interesting... everybody thought so, and hence there were 6 cars (fully filled) in a row, driving down to Seremban after Easter Sunday service.

Despite of the heavy rain along the journey in highway, everybody's mind was just dominant by the curiosity of this 'secret place'.

After many turnings, and some traffic adventures...(someone lost in the way), finally everybody arrived with peace.

The place is big, it has huge compound, I climbed up to the table at the hut, I looked into their inner garden... big!






We were told that these sisters staying inside, they can't come out, not a single day in a year! Not even meeting people on Sunday's services. All their mission is praying, praying for nation, praying for the world, praying for all people.



Here are some 'rules' to follow.











Jesus' (wooden crafted) statue was hanging in the hut where I took my peeped. Click here Carmelite Monastry web album for more photos.














We were waiting for sister Maurine, ex classmate of Pastor Jacinta. We questioned Pastor Jacinta why she got acquainted with her, this is a powerful testimony, please ask Jacinta personally, I am sure she would like to share this wonderful work God has done in her life!

Many of us can't figure it out why they have such calling, perhaps it is too deep for us to understand....

A Hike At Gunung Bunga Buah

This was my last minute plan, and also the first activity with MOTH, I met a few of old friends who I have known them in previous waterfall tracks and camping trips, love to meet them.

Woke up early at 5am, went with Yani to Kelana Jaya meeting point at 6:15am, started the journey 45 minutes after due to miss-communication. 8:20am we arrived in Gotong Jaya, most of the hikers were there and about to start the hike, after a group photo, this group of 40 hikers off for Gn. Bunga Buah.

The entry of this hike is the lorong in between the two rows of shops, there were a vegie farm on the left, walk along the way turn left step into a higher level of farm walk on the path thru the farm towards a small track, this is the starting point of the hike, it was a tough beginning, almost 80 degree, hike up all the way, big steps, I really thought of giving up and felt regret of coming to this hike, that was so tiring.... this is at the first km...

... continues another 2km of upwards hike, I nearly tearing.... but I told myself: 'No, you are not going to give up, you can make it!" this sentence kept recapping in my mind, to keep me going on. After the 3 km of upward hike, finally we reach to the tar road, heard from a hiker, this is the old Genting road, it is about 30 to 40 degree slope, that I thought would help relieve my muscle, never knew..... hahaha this is about 4km walk way.... , I did enjoy walking in this road, walked thru the plants, I saw the power of nature, these little plants have grown so much that they have rooted around the area and crack the tar road, then we realized there were never a man conquer the nature, but the nature conquer the man and the things build by human.


I liked the weather in this place, cooling. After this long path of walking, here start another 5km upward climb, 2km longer than the first. Here was how I feel, I totally have changed my thought and mind at this point, unlike the first 2km, I am quite prepared now, and I was totally happy that I was there, at this time, all my mind was 'keep going, you are near to the peak!'.

And as I climb, higher and higher, what gave me the strength? I thought thru the journey now.... I was definitely tired that time, there is nothing that could change this truth ( how I hoped). As I hiked, I took out my first sandwich (4 layers, ooh!) eat while I was hiking and chatting with Elaine Choo, that diverted us from thinking of 'tireness', the place gets mossy, and I like these little plant so much ... so much, you will never knew how much love i have for these little plant, I glanced at them with a pair of beautiful-loving eyes, and I told 'them', 'You are beautiful, God wonderfully have made you!'. And as we hiked higher (I don't know how high we were), the place looked like the jungle in a fairy tale, the feeling when you make every step on the path, like you are stepping on a carpet, it was soft, and bouncy, the ground have been filled by the fallen leaves, loved the feeling, I will definitely not going to forget them.




It is great to be at the top of the mountain. Look at this picture, you could actually see the clouds are below where you were standing. The temperature got lower here.

Never have imagined, the whole journey back and flow is 24km! total of the hiking time is 7 hours.













Here is the same spot I took the previous picture, I looked tired, still trying to greet you with a nice 'smile' which I have tried my best.....(snapped many shot! Believe me, this is the best shot I could ever get from that moment!)



















We are already at the peak, having lunch at this point, look at me, this is my best 'fulfilled' smile I never had smiled like this before, Oh my goodness, I have made it to the peak! My face could really tell!!!!

Muddy Square Platter

The soul of the day starts from breakfast, this is simply a recipe for lazy mom...

Tuna Mayonnaise on Cream Cracker, both are our favourite, to mommies of the world, if you would like your boys and girls 'Totoro' (多多肉), feed them this! haha. Not everyday, k.

We like Hup Seng Cream Crackers, don't worry, this is truly delicious, erm...I am not paid!




Tuna + Mayonnaise + pinchful of salt + pinchful of sugar + parsley spread, mix well.

I liked to put extra Mayo, it is really up to you if you would like the dryer component.

Ask, and it will be given

"Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find;
knock, and the door will be opened to you.

Matthew 7:7

'Call to me and I will answer you and tell you
great and unsearchable things you do not know.'
Jeremiah 33:3


'You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
I will be found by you'
Jeremiah 29:13-14

I did a short meditation on these three verses few days ago, we had this message from Sister Ai Siang, wife of Bro. Foo Lai Wei (FGA) coincidentally. This message brought me back to few years back, a moment where I was attending a gospel violin concert, performed by a Jewish violinist, he is an evangelist from US. In this night, he shared of his conversion into Christianity, wonderful works that God had had done in his life, the performance was fabulous.

At the end of the performance he gave out his albums for free, to those who ran up to the stage as fast as they could, I saw three ladies and men were dashing through the aisles, ran up to the stage in seconds, and they got the treat. He said: 'You deserved it, because you have striven for it!'

I remember clearly at that moment what my mind was thinking: 'I wanted that album too, if I made my effort and had try my very best to run to him, I shall be the one among them.', but I didn't, it was my 2nd year of Christian life, I was a passive little woman. Not long ever after that night, I have learned to put in effort, to sow in order to harvest, through the years of learning and growing, I become realized and understood more what the verse in Jeremiah 29:13-14 have meant to me.

v., sought (sôt), seek·ing, seeks. v.tr.

1. To try to locate or discover; search for.
2. To endeavor to obtain or reach: seek a college education.
3. To go to or toward: Water seeks its own level.
4. To inquire for; request: seek directions from a police officer.
5. To try; endeavor: seek to do good.
6. Obsolete. To explore.

Seek - a verb, indicating an action, an event or a state, eg bring, happen, exist.

"Seeking is just not searching or looking for but to me, carries a deeper meaning of yearning, truly wanting, desperately needing to obtain." Said Yvonne Ling, I strongly agreed her definition.

And so I ask God very often, and also I work toward what I have asked, in the beginning 7 years of seeking, now I have found His beauty, love, strength, and joy, most importantly His way.

This is not 'living happily ever after' kind of fairy tales, there is no such thing of 'happily ever after', I have faced many of trials, discouragement, bad times, and also failed many tests, and still happening now, and I believe there are more to come, (Praise the Lord... as I am living!)

Seeking God is a progression, I seek, therefore I found, and I am still seeking, because I want to learn more, to understand God's will and God's plan in me.

How can you find one if you only ASK, that is why the verse continues...SEEK, and KNOCK.

In the progress of seeking and searching, you might come to many aspects that you will have to put in effort to 'knock', I defined this as confirming, you knock on door, and He will open for us.

Somehow before coming to what you have asked, or indeed, before coming to the answer God has prepared, you need to do something more than just ASK.

To All Princes and Princesses in Waiting

To All Princes and Princesses in Waiting

By Dr. James Loh Wan Hung

13th March 2009

I am inspired to write this message in response to honest questions presented by a lady. I trust she

and others may find some answers here. Feel free to pass this message on.

By world average, more males are born in the ratio of 52% males to 48% females. How is it that in

adult life, there seems to be inadequate males for females in the mating game?

At the higher age groups, the gender ratio reverses in favour of females. There are many reasons for

this. Males die when they go to war, take up more hazardous jobs, or simply have shorter lifespan

than females. But is this the reason why ladies in waiting cannot find mates? No.

Firstly, marriage is not for everyone. Some people never have the need to marry. It may be by

nature, nurture or choice so that they can serve whole-heartedly in some noble cause. However, the

majority feels that marriage completes one’s life, and without it, a deep sad void exists.

In the older days, education was not accessible to females as easily as males. Without career

training, females were prepared mainly for marriage for support and security. In that sort of culture,

males enjoyed dominance by default because of their ability to provide. It was not uncommon for

the rich males to take many wives for their pleasures. As such, women of this era could be trapped

in loveless marriages and yet cannot break from it because of their inability of self-support. Divorce

and remarrying were also taboo back then. Those days, many wives were mere slaves, baby factories

and objects of pleasure without being able to enjoy pleasures themselves. Mating then was to be

endured and not enjoyed. Marriage then was over-rated, friendship under-rate or non-existent.

Today, things are different, so different that the pendulum has swung to the other side. Women are

educated, career trained, and able to self-provide. They no longer will tolerate being treated as floor

mats, or objects of pleasure, or as punching bags from abusive husbands. Women’s liberation has

also enabled them to appreciate their bodies and the right to pleasure in the mating process.

Suddenly, men feel threatened. Before, men were Heads, Kings, and Princes of their households by

default, but now they have to prove themselves capable, and even have to compete with women

professionally. Men are not longer respected by women by virtue of their gender, but by their merits

of character, their respect for women, and their ability to cover and protect, provide, and to satisfy

women’s mating needs. If husbands are abusive, their wives can leave them easily because they can

self-support. This is the reason why there are more and more guys -in -waiting. It’s now not just a

ladies’ problem, but guys’ as well. Many eligible guys just don’t have the confidence to approach

ladies for dates.

What will become of the institution of marriage? It is under threat.

The onus is for both genders to pull the pendulum back to the centre and not allow it to swing to

either extreme again. How? Man has to rediscover what it is to be masculine, and women, feminine.

Definition of masculine maleness.

1. Respect women as equal partners in life, but with different roles to play.

2. Male strength is to protect women, not to abuse.

3. Males need to demonstrate that they are doing their best to provide for the family.

4. Males to demonstrate leadership befitting the role as Head of the family.

5. Males to take pains to understand women, both physically and emotionally. Appreciate

generously for helps rendered, like a wonderful home cooked meal.

6. Males must continue to quest for self-development so that their ego needs are continually

met via challenging but healthy channels, and not through roving eyes.

7. Males must protect their wives from abusive in-laws and not allow relatives to have negative

influences in the marriage.

8. To observe loyalty and fidelity as the foundation stones of marriage.

9. Don’t be careless with harsh words in times of anger and during a quarrel. Women

remember every harsh word for life!

10. Keep saying and expressing the 3 magic words, “I love you” always, excessively, endlessly.

Women will never have enough of it, and never forget her birthdays and anniversaries,

otherwise the roof will fall down

So the call for guys to their wives is to act, protect, provide, to fill, to love, and not just as DNA

donors.

Definition of feminine femaleness.

1. Ladies should realize that a female’s charm is stronger than man’s strength. Remember

Samson and Delilah? Behind every successful man is a woman; likewise, behind the fall of

any great man is a woman. If a woman knows the power of feminine charm, she can make a

monk kneel! Unfortunately, some ladies do not know this. All women have this charm, its

God’s gift. Adam was so overwhelmed by Eve’s persuasive charm that he willingly ate the

forbidden fruit despite knowing otherwise. This feminine asset is the single most important

revelation for all women to know and be thankful for.

2. Man thrives in women’s help, support and adoration. This is why, “a woman is man’s glory”.

Women should be generous in praises, but only if it’s true. Praises fill a man’s ego needs.

Flattery to manipulate is not welcomed by discerning males.

3. A man’s confidence is utterly destroyed by negative remarks made by women especially in

public. A soft, sweet demeanour of women’s lips is highly appreciated. A docile tigress is

better that a ferocious cat.

4. Women are weaker vessels (i.e. physically), but not inferior. As a helpmeet, a woman makes

a man complete. So it’s pointless competing with man even if you can. The better way is to

complement the man, as co-partner in life with equal rights but different roles.

So the call for women to their husbands is to help, goad, encourage and comfort. The mere presence

of a woman’s beauty and charm is a source for man’s glory and strength.

Notice that the number of definitions for maleness is more than double that for femaleness. This is

because the privilege of being the Head of the home comes with it more responsibilities and

accountabilities.

In the old days, marriage was over-rated, friendship under-rated. They got married first then try to

be friends.

What is correct is for couples to be friends first, then to talk about marriage. I rate friendship higher

than marriage. If there is deep friendship, marriage will work. Conversely, marriage without

friendship will fall apart. When friendship grows, sex in marriage grows in tandem.

Others jewels of truth

1. If a man treats his wife as a Queen, the wife will treat him as a King. The same is true vice

versa.

2. Do not compete with one another, but complement one another.

3. Male and female are different. The point is to understand each other’s differences and learn

to meet those differences. Learn to meet half-way.

4. Don’t expect a woman to be like a man; don’t expect a man to be like a woman. Remember

“My Fair Lady”?

5. A married man’s body does not belong only to him alone, but to her as well; and vice versa.

6. The easiest way to destroy a marriage is to defile the marital bed.

7. Married couples should keep growing, developing, and nurturing their friendship as a

lifetime commitment.

8. Having children should be a combined decision.

This message is barely sufficient to cover all aspects of love and marriage, but is sufficient reference

for the dating game.

I reiterate my advice I gave my 2 adult daughters – if you cannot find a man who loves and adores

you, remain single and live a full time advancing your career and doing what pleases you and God.

The end.

My Note:
I am so thankful and blessed for James. Well, to have a marriage that could last for life in definitely take effort of both parties, and those jewels of true that are stated above I believe is James personal experiences and tests that he had gone through, they are practical yet so powerful, something that we can just learn and do to others, let us not giving up on doing good to the one we have chosen to love for the rest of our life.