Daisies

Daisy - MV

The love I have been dreaming of,
It's all so close to me,
But all I can do is,
Watching you without words,

And in this city of strangers,
I lived day by day painting love,
Waiting and hoping that you'll be here,
With the scent of Daisies,

But it is too late now,
That I finally know you,
Maybe we were not meant to be,
I never wanted to let this love fly away.

But I'm sorry I have to leave,
With you still breathing here..

恍然大悟

忽然间... 我发觉, 像似恍然大悟, 以前...我给自己定下了太多太多的限制, 这些限制...是想着为了要保护自己, 想起来并没有为我带来多大的好处, 反而使我失去许多快乐与色彩, 更流失许多机会.

这些限制约束我选择的自由, 偷窃了我活着的姿彩, 抹杀了我享受的权力, 夺去了我面对的勇气, 真可悲!

感谢主, 上帝派来了一个 '开罐刀' , 撬开了密封的 '罐头', 虽然来得好像有点迟, 可是想真的, 总比没来好太多了, 上帝必有他的时间!

好好学习交托, 不再害怕未来的不定式, 我相信得着的会比失去的更多.

学习需要时间, 就从今天开始.

God is by my side

I believe, most of the mommies will be with their infant every minute if possible, cos some are working parents, they will definitely get someone trustworthy to take care of their kids even they are not able to be with the kid, not only 'looking' at them, they feed, they clean, they teach the kid too. It will be the best choice to take care of your own kid if possible, cos only mom knows the best, (well, in some cases not.)

God is like our mom, He gives us Holy Spirit to be our babysitter, to be with us wherever we go, and teach us, guide our ways.

I am glad that I am able to be that sensitive enough to hear His voice, His advises, I know He is always by my side, even sometimes I (choose to) ignore His present, He'll never walked away from me. I am thankful for His love.

Therefore we ask of His guidance and protection, in the Lord's prayer it says: ''Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, ....and lead us not into temptation....''


Are we humble enough to follow what He guides us? Are we sensitive enough to hear His gentle voice? Are we strong enough to choose His way rather than our way? We are tempted because we have the 'think' at first stage, when you have the 'thought', you'll have the tempt in follow.

I tempted, because I have a thought, a thought that is not pleasing God, a thought that is walking stray from God's way, that's how I fall into temptation. We need God's guidance which is the Word of God - Bible, to lead us in our life, in daily decisions, and lead us not into temptation.

I am thankful for Him, ask God to give us a heart, a heart of fear of God.

Blessed be the name of the Lord.

Love,
Jane Lee

Auntie Juliet Garden Cafe

This was first introduced by Gigi Tan, we came here for tea break, it was then I brought my family here for dinner, and some gathering and chatting. The uniqueness of Auntie Juliet Garden Cafe, open concept, kitchen is wide open, upstairs and downstairs are open, whereas the air-con is on all the time, unless breakdown. All kind of pictures, wall pieces and paintings are hung on the wall, some are cross stitch with bible verses, and you may find an interviewed article about Auntie Juliet from the wall too, knowing the Strong Lady, serving their customers since 2002, located:
43, Jalan Anggerik Vanilla N 31/N, Seksyen 31, Kota Kemuning, Shah Alam.
Make your reservation: 03 51212002 / 3003

They offer indoor catering service too, just to remember one important thing, they are closed on Sundays, because she honors the Sabbath Day.

Take a staircase on the left, many beautiful pictures welcome you along the way...

Today is a special day, SCF servants treat, many of us from SCF come to this place to dine together, sing together, fun together. I am thankful for the treat.

Jane and Auntie Juliet, she is taking order from Ps. Ban Chuan and Mee Kim

Sense of Security

Why Do Most Women Need Security, Approval and Consistent Emotional Connection?

This is not the question I ask myself, my question is, 'Why do I find it hard to fall in love?'

Man - is that what I want? just a man? perhaps... but man changes.

Love - if it is what I want, I have got it long time ago .... it doesn't last.

Care - I don't need to be taken care of, I do well in this.

What do I want?

An ultimate relationship, long lasting relationship, life time guaranteed

A man without love - I can't take it

A love without man - what I meant is life time partner, without man.... erm, I will not live long (haha just kidding)

A love and man without care - shit! not practical.

What do I want?

Oh my goodness, I am too much, think too much, fear too much, loose too much, I can't help myself, I am lost, totally!

That is the problem of perfectionism.... you will never find one... consequences - day dreaming the whole life.

Crap...





I enjoy the love like Jesus loves me, enjoy the security that God has given to me, He'll never forsake me, He doesn't condemn, He doesn't judge but guide, He is patience, He is faithful, He is pure, He is good..., we communicate, sometimes we have different perception (hehe, for sure, cos I have my point of view, and He's got His) I fight, when He doesn't agree with me, I learn to summit to Him, not easy though, but I know for so so so sure that He loves me very much, He always there to protect me.

He loves me even before I know Him, I sense of His love, when I am humble enough to listen to Him, patient enough to know more of Him, and sensitive enough to feel that all of the things happened in my life was out of His perfect plan, and trust Him enough to give Him the full control. Ooh! I am enjoying this relationship, but if I tell you, I need Him alone, please understand me, I am not trying to act holy, I just really need Him alone...

Here is the point, be practical lah! Man, listen: Love, care, affection for sure, but not without the sense of security, ... erghm..... In All Areas, I think I've found my answer for my question, it's impossible!

Thank you for reading my nonsensical mind war. ~ The End ~

Self-centered

Am I that self-centered? Never do I appreciate self centered people. During the *Utopia, we allow everyone talks about anything, true to our hearts, a friend gave a character analysis on me, I quite liked that, and enjoying it, and happy that he has tried to understand my character, it was quite accurate and acceptable . . . . . but one described me as self centered person, erm.... quite acceptable, I am those, Sad . . . . but not angry, it's time to analyze / think why he said so.

I read this:

• Common Traits Of The Self-Centered Person

Recognize And Deal With Self-Centered People

• SELF-CENTERED BEHAVIOR: A Common Characteristic Of Abusive People

• Is self-centered possessiveness a narcissistic trait?

After reading this, I found myself not like that, hmm...... thinking again.

I may be standing firm to my point of view, but I'd never forced people to accept what my perception is, I may be talking a lot of my insight (in my blog), but I'd never wanted you to agree what my insight is.

I may be emotional, but I seldom will affect people around me, hmm...... may be not ( I showed a lot to my ex, Ooops!) but, I think I am better now after accepted Christ, might not be that perfect yet, but at least has changed a lot. (yet to be proven!)

Conclusion, I may have some dots of self-centered person, not that much though, I just have my point of view, but I don't need all friends to follow what my thinking, I won't let my friend suffer or feel bad if I am not in good mood. I may look pride if I don't agree with your perception, I am sorry about that, true, perhaps I did not know how to react my expression or control my emotional well, but I think I can handle it better next time.

Love,
Jane Lee

Utopia - the memorable 'space'

Utopia by Alanis Morissette

We'd gather around all in a room fasten our belts engage in dialogue
We'd all slow down rest without guilt not lie without fear disagree sans judgement

We would stay and respond and expand and include and allow and forgive and
Enjoy and evolve and discern and inquire and accept and admit and divulge and
Open and reach out and speak up

This is utopia this is my utopia
This is my ideal my end in sight
Utopia this is my utopia
This is my nirvana
My ultimate

We'd open our arms we'd all jump in we'd all coast down into safety nets

We would share and listen and support and welcome be propelled by passion not
invest in outcomes we would breathe and be charmed and amused by difference
be gentle and make room for every emotion

We'd provide forums we'd all speak out we'd all be heard we'd all feel seen

We'd rise post-obstacle more defined more grateful we would heal be humbled
and be unstoppable we'd hold close and let go and know when to do which we'd
release and disarm and stand up and feel safe

This is utopia this is my utopia
This is my ideal my end in sight
Utopia this is my utopia
This is my nirvana
My ultimate

I've heard of this song, long ago, but I misunderstood the meaning of this song, especially the word 'nirvana'. I loved the melody, loved the arrangement, but not that word.

The name 'Utopia' was brought out again by a friend, he mentioned about the moment we had had was like 'Utopia', sung by Alan morissette.... what was that moment?

The moment of:
We'd gather around all in a room fasten our belts engage in dialogue
We'd all slow down, rest, without guilt, not lie, without fear, disagree without judgement; forgive, evolve and discern, inquire and accept and admit and divulge and open and reach out and speak up .... just as what written in the lyrics.

Oh, then I start thinking about the moment, the topic, the talk, the people, the understanding, the open, the speak up ... then the enlightenment ...erm.... a day after. I had this moment - Utopia, has engraved in my memory.

Penang prep-backpacker trip: Day 2 plain walking

Day 2, it was a rainy day. Both of us slept at 9:30pm, woke up at 9am, washed-up and went for free breakfast at coffee shop located at level 2 in YMCA building. There are choices from set A and B, free flow of coffee and tea. We chose Set A for today, because set B is a porridge set, we both like to have continental breakfast.

It was still raining after our breakfast, therefore we spent some time in the coffee shop read some books. Till about 12pm, the rain stopped, we then started walking to Komtar, and took a free shuttle bus (MPPP Rapid Penang CAT is a free shuttle bus service that ply the streets of George Town. It was launched on Friday, 23 January, 2009. CAT, which stands for Central Area Transit, is an initiative of the Penang Island Municipal Council (MPPP) and Rapid Penang. It covers a route from Weld Quay to Penang Road and back. Along the way, it makes 19 stops at strategic points of interest. The service runs from 6:00 am in the morning until 12:00 am midnight. Apart from the route around Komtar, the shuttle service ply roads within the core and buffer zones of the George Town Unesco World Heritage Site.) to Weld Quay for ferry ride.

Gab felt curious about the ferry, he ran down to the vehicles compartment.

It is free from Georgetown to Butterworth, coming back fare is RM1.20 for adult, RM0.60 for children. We had a short walk around the station in Butterworth, then come back again, nothing much around the station.

It was a good ride.

From Weld Quay, we walked to Lebuh Chulia, looking for a place to have lunch, then we saw Kapitan restaurant which has famous naan and tandoori. Tasty and sufficient lunch. Chulia Street is one of the oldest streets in George Town, many old and handicraft business still running.

Then kept walking along Jln Chulia, going through the small lorongs too, cam to Jln L.Canon '椰脚街' for this Koay Teow T'ng, with Eel Fish Ball. I had a bowl of it, phew.... ate a lot. They serve nice kopi!! Must try this if you come to this shop.

We had a memorable walk in Khoo Kong Si, and Cheah Kong Si.

Then we went to Fort Corn Wallis, sadly it closed early. So he spent a short time in the playground next to Fort Corn Wallis, the rainy clouds were getting closer towards us, before we caught a bus, the rain poured down heavily, one fun thing happened, at that time we were so cold, I was happy to see a bus came towards, I waved my hand hardly, as soon as the door opened I shouted "go" and rammed up to the bus, but I didn't see Gab, that gave me a shocked, I ran down from the bus and looked for him, and found him hide behind a tree! That made all the passangers in the bus laughed.

This is our second day, the bus took us back to Komtar, then we walked back to YMCA. We didn't go out both nights, enjoyed TV programs and rested in the room, we had our dinner in YMCA 747 seafood restaurant, this was expensive..... sigh! The food was nice.

Camping at KKB Dreamland

KKB Heights, is actually my friend Mun Wah's dream land, I think he wanted to get the feel before he decided to buy a land and build a home for his retirement (Ooops!), so a few of his die hard friends inclusive of me, going with him for the 'feeling good camping'.

After Sunday service, we had lunch in church, telling friends about the camping trip we are going to have, surprisingly attracted Beh's family and Joel to join us, so off they went to the trip, we have Mun Wah the 'Ju Gok', Boon Hiang's family, Ben's family, Beh's family, Edwin's family, Joe Khong, Jasmine Chee, Debbie, Joel Khor, Gabriel and me.

The weather was fantastic, like the time I had in Penang, me and Debbie kept praising God for the weather.

As I arrived, was happy to see a house is built, but still under renovation, so all of us went into the house had a tour around the place, this house locating at a fascinating point, where you could see the sun rise from East, and sun set from West, that day was quite a gloomy day, a short drizzle, but not that cold enough to give us a cloudy and misty feel as we visited at the first time last year in November.

We came out a good suggestion, to camp in the house, toilet system is set, with lights, so Ben and May eventually decided to stay over night, we shouted hooray for this arrangement, without the house, they would have gone home.

After the early dinner in a restaurant, we headed back to KKB Heights to set up our tents, Ben's family with toddler will stay inside the house, the rest were living in tents.

Mun Wah quickly started his bartender row, to preparing Bacardi cocktail, with the help of Alice Ding to rinse mint leaves, he cut limes, he brought an interesting tool, stainless steel muddler, pro man! The cocktail really attracted our little bees..... and a little young adult - Joel Khor (hehehe, '小黑'!)

Then we had a praise and worship session plus some 经典重温 oldies revised, most of us are in the same era, growing up with those same singers! Enjoyed the singing.

At about almost 11:30pm, that was too late for the toddlers and kids, I felt so bad for not being sensitive enough of their needs, we should have moved down to our camp site for the singing, we created a lot of noise, though, hoping them will also enjoy our 'presence', Oops, sorry!



Left a few of us, Mun Wah, Joe, Debbie, Jasmine, Cynthia and me, continued our fellowship, Ben joined in later. The crazy chat lasted to about 2am, 'crazy chat?' yeah, almost all of us got tipsy because of wines.

The joy of blogging and facebooking

I received several comments from friends and relatives, those that have not known me well. Frankly, relatives only meet once or twice a year during Chinese New Year and some important occasions, we do chat but not that deep into your mind.

Facebook is one of the greatest communicating invention, it allows me to keep connected with friends and relatives, more to my relatives, they started realize how positive and beautiful I have in my life through the sharing photos of recent activities.

Blogging is one of my greatest finds, here I shared not only my photos of recent activities, I could share my thoughts, my circumstances, my joy, my struggles, though I did not post up most of my struggles and sadness incidents, which I chose not to post them, because I'd like to share positives info, I'd like my sharing brings hope, would carry encouragement elements rather than tear down and judgement.

Therefore, facebook, blogs and web album are just one part of me, most of the time, the happy side of me, please do not misunderstand by I am just disguising myself, making myself look perfect and nice, no... please, no body in this world is perfect! I do have the ugly and bad side.

You know, a lot of time when we chat, we will find some chat mates like to boast a lot of their lives, their doings, may be you think differently, I don't like to boast, or perhaps their intention is to share, ended up I feel like boasting, more than just merely sharing, unless you have a good skill of communication. Or perhaps I have a wrong perception on this issue, but I feel more comfortable to share it through blogs.

May be you think that blogging and facebooking are like revealing yourself nakedly to everybody, m... then, I have different perception as you do.

There are always have good side and bad side on something, depend on which perspective you are standing with.

No matter what, I love blogging, where I express better, and at anytime, anywhere by mean.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

An article shared by Pastor Jacinta.

I love this article, and yes indeed, we should always praise His faithfulness, and trust that He has the plan, give Him the full control. Happy reading.

Monday, August 31, 2009

WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

By Kathy Duffy

"You have the choice of resigning or being terminated, effective immediately." My heart sank. The president of the company had just walked into my office, pointed his finger at me and uttered those words. How could this be happening to me, and what was I going to do? As the director of a retirement community, I lived on the property, so I was losing my job AND my home.

What was the incident that had cost me my job? Reading the Bible and praying for a needy Christian resident on my day off. As a result, I was suddenly without a job, homeless, threatened with a lawsuit, betrayed and slandered. Great fear bombarded my mind. WHAT was I going to do?

What DO we, as Christians, do in the face of such adversity?

I have learned that the tests and trials in life are golden opportunities to glorify and honor our heavenly Father. As we walk in trust, we position ourselves to see Him move on our behalf in mighty, miraculous ways.

Sometimes we wait until God has answered our prayers or brought us through a great trial before we stand up in church and give glory to Him by sharing our testimony. Yet I believe we give Him the GREATER glory when we trust Him and hold fast to His promises without wavering while we are still in the midst of the trial—BEFORE the victory is manifest.

Look at the children of Israel. After they passed through the Red Sea on dry ground and their enemies were swallowed up, they praised and glorified God for His miraculous deliverance. But what did they do BEFORE they passed through the Red Sea?

They were fearful, and they murmured and complained against God rather than thanking Him for past victories and trusting that He would be faithful to deliver them again.

In fact, nearly every time the Israelites were faced with a major obstacle or crisis in the wilderness they grieved God by harboring unbelief in their hearts and murmuring and complaining with their lips. Sadly, those who complained never entered the Promised Land because they never learned how to give God glory in the midst of the tests and trials of life (see Num. 14:26-38; Heb. 3:16-19).

Sarah, on the other hand, is a powerful example of one who received a miracle from God because she gave Him glory in the midst of her trial of barrenness, before she ever conceived Isaac:

"By faith Sarah herself also received strength to conceive seed, and she bore a child when she was past the age, because she judged Him faithful who had promised" (Heb. 11:11, NKJV).

When did she judge Him faithful? In the midst of her impossibility, when she reckoned her aged body unable to conceive and when circumstances and nature seemed to be against her.

In both these cases, we know the end of the story. I don't know the end of mine yet—at least I don't know HOW God will miraculously deliver me and turn my situation around for His glory. I was fired just a short time ago and have yet to pass through this painful experience and come out on the other side.

But I have chosen to give Him the GREATER GLORY now by walking in love and forgiveness toward those who have wronged me, by trusting Him to take what the devil meant for evil and turn it around for good, and by believing and holding fast to the promises He has given me, regardless of how things look.

Are you or a loved one going through a great trial? See your situation as a golden opportunity to glorify and honor your heavenly Father. Remember, as you glorify Him in the midst it, you position yourself for great victory. It's your choice.